Waking Up Archives

The ways emotional abusers don't take responsibility

Different Ways Emotional Abusers Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Behavior [Episode 169]

May 3, 2022

He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how.

He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts.

He’s struggling. He can’t help it.

Do you have these thoughts about your husband?

Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken?

Didn’t think so.

I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one.

This episode comes with not one but two guarantees:

Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to.

Was it Really That Bad? And Maybe He’ll Change?

April 1, 2022

Emotional abuse kills you one nibble at a time. It’s not like physical abuse where a big shark comes up behind you and chomps off your leg. No, emotional abuse is more like a gnat bite. You can barely see the little bugger until you feel the bite. Just a tiny bite. No big deal.

But Didn’t I Promise to Stay in Sickness and in Health? What About Mental Illness? [Episode 139]

October 5, 2021

When you react to your husband’s abuse, it can feel like you’re the abuser.

When he tells you how hard his childhood was, you may feel sorry for him.

When you read about personality disorders, some of the symptoms fit you.

When you read about mental illness, the symptoms also fit him.

Which makes you wonder…

If your husband was abused, is it really fair to hold his harmful behavior against him?

If he has unresolved trauma or a personality disorder, is it wrong to expect him to treat you better?

And even more confusing…

What if your C-PTSD sometimes mimics a personality disorder?

What if your traumatic responses seem abusive?

Is the Bible Against Women? [Episode 135]

September 7, 2021

It took 11 words to change the world. 11 words misinterpreted. 11 words misunderstood. 11 words manipulated.

A single sentence from the mouth of God to the first woman…Eve. A pronouncement. A prediction. A curse. Or was it?

Do you know these words?

Prepare yourself. Because you’re about to learn their TRUE meaning.

It might blow. your. mind. And it will change the world…again.

What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part One [Episode 133]

August 24, 2021

You are married to a bully. If only he’d steal your lunch money or call you a dingus during math class and be done with it.

Instead, he makes everything into a torturous game with changing rules that benefit one person. Himself. On the really bad days, you want to learn karate and get featured on the evening news.

Take heart, sweet potato. There’s a better way.

I’ve graphed his sleazy points and made a road map for dealing with his shenanigans.

Fair warning: It’s gonna take guts but it will be well worth it. And you won’t even need karate.

Why Hanging on to Hope in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship Doesn’t Work [Episode 129]

July 27, 2021

“Till death do us part.” Those words haunt you.

The enemy was supposed to be outside of your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away.

But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to.

And he’s counting on it.

Category: Waking Up