Every year we send out an anonymous satisfaction survey to our Flying Free Kaleidoscope members, and this year I want to publish a few of the many reviews we got back.
If you can relate to what these Christian women are saying, and you want to see similar results in your own life, consider joining us! It’s never too late for transformation!
What Members Said They Believed and Felt Like BEFORE They Joined Flying Free
I believed that I had ruined my marriage (somehow). I believed that God had laid requirements on my life, and all my life I felt guilty because I never measured up. I felt trapped in my own guilt. I was going around and around in circles in my mind grieving (my husband left me saying I was the problem) and guilting and being angry and disbelieving and all the things.
I blamed myself a lot for the breakdown of my marriage, I used Prov. 14:1 to spiritually abuse myself (if thats possible), especially since i really tried to make it work.
I thought that I must be having a nervous breakdown and was imagining things, or being over sensitive. I felt bewildered and very very confused and numb.
I believed so many lies, about myself, the word of God and how I should show up in life I felt worthless.
I believed I was the problem. I felt hopeless and like I was crazy. I was doing everything I could to save my marriage at the expense of me and nothing was working.
I believed it was my fault…if I was just a better wife. I felt trapped, exhausted, suicidal, and that no one would understand what I was going through. I was doing a horrible job of being a mom, wife, daughter, etc.
I believed I was doing something wrong. Felt confused. Doing things to change how I communicated thinking things could change if I could only find just the right way to do it.
I believed was trapped in a horrible marriage. I felt hopeless and stuck. I was doing so many things that DIDN’T help or actually made things worse, based upon very bad marriage advice from “Christians.”
I believed lies about myself. I believed God hates divorce and staying for the kids is the best. I felt like I couldn’t keep living like this and trapped. I was doing nothing. Frozen.
I believed I had no choice. I felt lost and hopeless. I was drowning.
I believed the kids needed both parents together I felt stuck I was buffering between him and the kids trying to “protect” them from him.
I believed that I had to endure abuse to be a good Christian. I believed I wasn’t worthy of anything better. I believed boundaries were sinful.
I was terrified of what my husband would do when I left. I was afraid of the court process.
I believed in male headship and in my “second-rate” status as a female.
I believed I was crazy. I felt alone. I felt ashamed. I felt lost.
I believed that I was the problem, and was unfixable. I felt hopeless. I was deep in a months long regression using all my dysfunctional coping skills to deal with past trauma that was resurfacing and I didn’t know what to do about it.
I was scared and unsure how to proceed with getting legal help.
I believed there was no way to relieve my pain. I felt frustrated and helpless. I was still trying to get husband to change.
I believed I was the problem. Tired all the time! And had no energy. Nothing but ruminating over my marriage.
I had no choice but to live the life I was living. I felt hollow. I was doing the bare minimum each day, to just get by.
I believed I had to stay in my marriage. I felt trapped. I was doing everything for everyone.
I was barely able to identify my feelings. I had such strong emotions yet those emotions were stuffed down and not really felt.
I believed I had no value. I felt alone and broken. I was doing everything wrong.
I believed I was stuck. I felt like I wasn’t capable of making the decisions I needed to make, or that I was wrong. I felt confused and like I was going in circles.
I believed things must change, but I was rather stuck. I felt angry and frustrated. I was doing a program with other women who, I believe, are partly stuck because they hold on to a way of thinking that puts women in a hierarchy below men. I had to find something more affirming of women & God’s view of us.
I believed that women couldn’t say no without disappointing God. I was dead in my marriage. I needed to know I wasn’t alone. I needed guidance, encouragement and hope.
I believed my needs were not valid and I needed to be rescued. I felt stuck and confused. I ruminated on the painful way my husband treated me and on ways to fix it, and I tried to control him and my son.
I believed I was stuck in this marriage for life. I barely had a voice in many areas of our relationship. I had no energy to move forward.
I believed I would always carry the damage he caused and probably never function like a normal person. I was doing everything I could to reclaim my life and heal but I didn’t know where to find the information I needed.
I believed there was no hope….I felt trapped. I was doing nothing anymore because I had completely shut down.
I was still obsessing over trying to collect evidence to validate my confusion and hurt by his cheating, lying, gaslighting.
I believed I was the only Christian wife who had completely failed to be a good wife because no matter how hard I tried, my husband was dissatisfied. I felt empty, like a hollow shell. I wanted to die.
What Members Said They Believed and Felt Like AFTER They Joined Flying Free
I began to feel hopeful that God was more loving than I thought and didn’t require me to suffer for the rest of my days. I began to show up by taking control of my thoughts, setting boundaries and respecting others’ boundaries. I began to believe that there was joy in believing in God after all – that He really did have a plan to work everything out in the end, and the gospel really was Good News rather than the tale of horror I really felt it was. I began to relax and let life happen and find peace and comfort in God. I started to do the things I wanted to do, and learned to do things I had to do without my husband (like fixing mowers and driving the tractor). I now have joy and independence and finally feel like an adult. Thanks to Natalie and the Flying Free team!
It’s become clear that I was emotionally abused for so long (I used to struggle with saying that). It has been validating to know that my case isn’t unique, and the courses have been very helpful in understanding what I went through, and where my blindspots were. I’ve grown a lot since starting the courses. I am advocating for myself a lot more, and I have also seen areas where I was wrong too, and where I need to make some tweaks and grow before going into my next relationship.
After I began my work of healing in Flying Free, I had vocabulary for my experiences, realized I wasn’t crazy. The brain fog cleared as I came to believe that I had agency (that I was my own hero), and that I could be comfortable with people disagreeing with my decisions. I learned my core values and how to use my boundaries to protect them. I began to feel worthy of sacrificial care, and realized I wasn’t getting it in my marriage, so I decided to leave. I felt empowered to go through the scary process of hiring an attorney, hiring a divorce coach, and grabbing a divine opportunity to move out. I’ve also been working with a therapist. The combination of that, along with what I’ve learned in Flying Free has me showing up more authentically with agency, grace and confidence. At the beginning, Flying Free was like my oxygen tank underwater. Now that I’m almost across the raging river (I’m only ankle deep now!), I no longer feel that desperation, but I do want to stay connected with this community because of the friendships I’ve developed. I look forward to joining Flying Higher soon. I’m eternally grateful for Flying Free!
I have self-worth and agency. More and more freedom to show up as me. I even like who I am now! I feel like I’m finally diving into all that the Kaleidoscope has to offer for so much here.
I now believe I am not the problem, but I do need healing and to give myself grace. I began to feel hope and worthy of love. I began to show up for my life by being kind and graceful to myself, setting boundaries, refusing to allow myself to be abused, and learning, learning, learning. I feel so much healthier and stronger and I thank you so very much!
I know that I can be a Christian, follow the heart and character of God and Jesus Christ, whether or not I select a church. And I can love other hurting women better than I was shown love.
I can support myself now, and I have choices about what I will do and where I choose to live. I am not stuck anymore. Along with my precious Butterfly Buddies, I am beginning to Fly Free!
I began to believe woah! This is called abuse!!! I believed I could get out and that it wasn’t the end of the world if I divorced a horrible man….God does NOT want me to be abused. I began to feel strong! I began to show up for my life by going through a life changing divorce and buying a peaceful home. I realized I could do really hard things. I love the connections I’ve made through Flying Free. Y’all are absolutely amazing.
I made friends and connected with others online and irl, I felt validated, heard and understood, improved my self talk, and I learned how to give myself what I wanted from others. Now I have my own back, own my choices, and let others have their feelings and life experiences.
For me the biggest part of the program I found the most helpful was my ability to interact with my ex. During my in-house separation I was able to gray rock like I was never able to and really get my head around my boundaries, and then once I moved out I NEVER looked back. All the coaching and classes taught me how to change my thinking about everything to do with his abuse and see it for what it was. I cannot express how much this has changed my life for getting divorced AND now showing my children who I actually am and providing space and healing for them and me.
I began to believe God has more for me. Began to feel empowered, enlightened and FREE! By doing what was best for me (and my kids) with God by my side.
I began to believe I had a choice and a voice! I felt hope and empowered and dared to believe I could be happy, I believed I could get out of an unhappy marriage. I show up for my life by enforcing boundaries, recognizing the pattern of abuse and choosing life, not being gaslit.
I began to believe I’m not crazy or the problem. I began to believe I’m worth taking up space in this world again. I began to feel more compassionate to myself. I began to show up for my life by seeing everything through my new lenses/BS filter. I no longer sacrifice myself in the presence of recognized manipulation tactics. I’m improving my relationships with my adult children, and they’re learning mental health strategies too.
When I started listening to the coaching, doing the courses, starting posting questions and concerns, I started to really see things differently, more clearly and felt like I could make some very hard choices more resolutely. My thoughts and beliefs shifted and I feel more free in God’s grace and love. I understand His love better as I’m reading the Bible & praying & processing messages from various “pulpits”. I feel believed in, supported and tremendously helped by the love, experiences, wisdom, compassion & perspectives of all the women in the forum and the coaches. As time has gone on, I see myself in some of the new butterflies coming in and feel I can offer encouragement because of the things I’ve learned. I’m amazed that in less than a year I have learned about boundaries, what a healthy relationship should and should not look like (especially as a Christian). I’m still learning to show up for myself by taking my own self destruction thoughts and beliefs captive & I’m starting to dream & pray for the next 1, 2, 5, 10..,,years of my life and what the possibilities are there.
I no longer believe my husband has more power than he actually does. I no longer believe I have less power than I actually do. I act as if I have a right to make decisions in my own and the kids’ best interest even if he doesn’t agree and acts out. Because I do.
I had options! seen! heard! Validated! Inspired! Believing myself, validating myself, hearing myself. I raked all the loose matter into a pile and sat down to sort it out!
I began to believe I had value, that I could speak up for myself, and that my voice mattered. I began to have my own back and to take care of myself. I began to trust myself! This is huge.
I began to work on my healing. I now believe that some of my behaviors were a problem, but I can learn new behaviors. I began to feel like I’m not alone anymore. I began to show up for my life by looking at things that cause me to react emotionally, asking myself what is at the root cause of this reaction and what thoughts and actions are needed to address this issue.
I am worthy of love & respect.
I began to believe in myself. I began to feel hope for a future. I began to show up for my life by finding my voice.
I am able to pause and look into my self and identify triggers and pain. I am free to feel! I am free to appreciate and love me.
I can walk through therapy more independently. I began to feel supported, sane, hopeful, and joyful again. I learned that I am not crazy and that I can do this with the right support. The courses gave me a one step in front of the other way out of the darkness in my mind. I look forward to continuing my healing with this program.
I began to believe in my personal power to improve my life. I began to feel hopeful and powerful. I began to show up for my life by taking control of what I actually had the power to change.
I began to feel validated. I felt heard. I felt Natalie was speaking TO me in every class and coaching session. I related to many women’s stories about love, heartache, brokenness. I began to see I was not alone.
I knew I had a choice as to whether I wanted to stay in my marriage or not. I began to feel a sense of freedom. I began to show up for my life by separating from my husband and refusing to tolerate his abusive behaviour.
I began to believe healing was possible. I began to feel like I had the tools within my reach to grow stronger and heal my broken places. I began to show up in my life by finding the things I needed (physically, emotionally, and mentally) to help me cope and move through my moments of struggle and living my life each day with the goal to be as healthy as possible.
I believe there are choices, I feel I have clarity and am gaining control, show up by trusting my decisions despite what other say.
I began to believe that God loves me more than He loves anniversaries. I began to feel hopeful. I showed up by leaving, staying gone, starting my masters degree, and getting mentally healthier than I’ve ever been.
I began to believe that I was a capable person who is allowed to make grown up decisions, and if I choose divorce I’m not wrong or bad. I began to show up for myself with stronger convictions about my boundaries and able to give myself validation for the things that are important to me.
I feel empowered! I’m doing things for both God, my adult children, my friends, and myself without any criticism, having fear, or hearing derogatory comments from a CN. Not to mention, I no longer am exposed to a CN’s gaslighting, deflecting, projecting, stonewalling, attention seeking ways, or his self-rightousness in 99% of the things he does. Flying free now!!
I began to work on my healing, and I began to believe I was actually learning & growing – my anger was a ‘phase’ and not an evil, but I could learn to handle it better. I began to feel calmer & better prepared. I began to show up for my life by not falling as often into his nonsense, & knowing that I’ll keep learning & growing and see where that takes me.
I better understand human behavior and myself and how to better navigate my life after leaving my abuser. I feel not alone and somewhat supported (I haven’t interacted with women in the program other than in the orientation call) and that means a lot to me. Thank you.
Here are some other comments members wrote:
It’s an excellent deal, and very helpful and effective!
Flying free is the best program out there! Honestly the resources and workshops you get for the money every month is so valuable. Natalie is a true truth teller and I love her approach. She is such an encouragement to Christian women all over.
It has changed my whole world; I’m growing so much!
It’s like one stop shopping all the resources you need in one program AND user friendly, even for untech savvy people like myself
Wealth of information in a safe place
Flying Free has given me the most helpful information and inspiration, far above any other resource I have found!
110% Most comprehensive program on spiritual and emotional abuse and it’s a great value.
I can’t believe how different I am from over a year ago. I feel more confident and healed although I am still a work in progress. My relationship with my children has improved as I learned how to handle things differently.
Natalie’s approach to changing the mindset is unique and powerful for me.
It totally changed my view of myself and others and my marriage situation. It has given me direction, and peace, and comfort, and restored my sanity.
It’s been a game changer for me.
Flying free has helped me more than anything else, including counseling. The support is amazing and I love being able to access the courses and info whenever I want, at my pace, and the subjects I need when I need them. I don’t know where I would be without it.
It changed my life! The support from other members is amazing.
This is a great program and resource. There isn’t anything like it.
It’s been a transformational experience. The coaching, connection, and courses are valuable resources I continue to learn from.
The courses and coaching has changed my life and my programming so completely. I love how I think differently through my divorce and separation.
This group has saved and changed my life completely and for the better!
It is a wealth of resources for those in or coming out of an abusive relationship. All the coaches are really approachable, it helps to know one is not alone in this situation, real lived experience and advice.
Great support from coaches and community, you realize you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. Courses are super helpful.
Helps you know you are not alone and gives a lighted runway (breadcrumbs like Hansel and Gretel) to follow to a better place.
I had years of counseling from a psychologist and a pastor. While their advice was good, it took going through coursework here to be able to say, “now I know HOW to put that advice into practice!” I’m SO MUCH BETTER than I was two years ago thanks to you, your colleagues, and all of your work!
It’s so validating and helpful. It’s the antidote for the isolation and confusion I have experienced in my marriage! It is life giving and full of resources. As someone who struggles with depression and hopelessness, it is VITAL to have a way to reach out for help in a moments notice during a crisis. This has been that source of help and sanity many times!
It’s the best information and support for emotional abuse that I’ve seen
The balanced combination of real-time concerns and advice from actual Butterflies, super-helpful and rich coursework ,and archived content just works!
The knowledge, validation, and support I have received have been invaluable.
The education is so life changing in understanding why our relationship can be so confusing. I finally understand what is really going on. The coaching that takes place in the forum helps me to take the concepts that I’m learning and apply it to my real life situations.
It is so validating that I am not alone & I am not crazy. The courses & coaching sessions have helped me heal & deal with my STBX’s behavior. I do not struggle as much with personalizing what he says to me, or feeling the need to fix him.
There is a wealth of information. It’s like all the books I’ve read on self-help/recovery all rolled into one place. I’ve learned a lot about myself and all relationships. I learned to let go of what I cannot control and just concentrate on me and what I can do and have done through the resources here. I gained the courage to leave my toxic marriage. It was one of the hardest and best decisions I have ever made. And we reconciled and my marriage is stronger than it was before. 1.5 years later, still going strong! Finding my voice was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received.
Flying Free has given me life changing resources that lead me to communicate better, understand myself and appreciate myself. It brings hope.
I listened to almost everyone of your YouTube videos and after a few years signed up. Even though I had done a lot of healing before I signed up it helps reinforce what I already learned and I’ve also learned new things.
It’s very cleverly designed & unique in providing layered levels of helps, intervention, connection, tools, therapeutic support and accurately targets the complex combination of hidden harms & abuses that are so very hard to nail. Which women in our situations perhaps don’t realise we did so desperately need to have and know until we got behind the door of The Kaleidoscope World and began to orientate ourselves at the speeds we’re individually capable of going depending on our contexts and circumstances. The platform gives room for us all to navigate and work at different speeds of journeying too. A powerful aspect of it for me since joining, has been knowing I am connected to a community simply through the membership and that in itself is like a pair of undergirding arms/embrace. And from there I have been moving slowly but surely through.
Flying Free has helped me get stronger, grow, find my voice and even helped my marriage. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not found Flying Free.
It’s the most real and most honest wife help
The content is excellent and exactly what I needed to hear. This material is easy to access and directly addressed my greatest needs. I also loved all the outside book and podcast recommendations. The price was also affordable even on a limited budget.
There is truth here. It is kind but it is not necessarily sugar-coated. It helps you grow.
It has been a huge part of my journey to freedom. I honesty don’t know where I’d be without this community. I see Natalie’s ministry as a tree with branches being many other resources that I found through her, and together they all have changed my thinking and my life!!
It saved my daughters’ lives by keeping me from going back by listening to the irl voices instead of the truth tellers here.
Natalie’s guidance & coaching helped me get off of my butt & do something about my situation by reversing the CPTSD I was experiencing.
Tons of great information at your fingertips. Great way to immerse yourself in all these true thoughts. Anytime you can just listen to something helpful on a relevant topic.
All of the resources I’ve accessed in the Kaleidoscope have had an impact on my healing journey and navigating the separation and divorce process.
One Year From Now
Maybe you feel like the women at the top of this page. Do their voices echo your own?
But look what every single one experienced after going through the Flying Free program. Do you want to experience that? What is that kind of hope, help, and personal transformation worth to you?
If you commit to one full year, it’s only $290. That will get you where you want to go. Are you ready?
If you can’t afford that much up front, then what about only $29 a month? The cost of a lunch for two at Panera?
Head over to joinflyingfree.com and jump in here! The healing is GRAND!
See you on the inside, Beautiful Butterfly!
XOXO,
Natalie Hoffman
