Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [Episode 372]
March 24, 2026
What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he’s such a great guy when you know the truth?
What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he’s such a great guy when you know the truth?
What if your deepest shame wasn’t actually yours to carry?
If you’ve ever felt the cold shoulder from your Christian family after your divorce, or you’re still untangling the sticky spiderwebs of shame and silence from your upbringing, pull up a chair. This episode is for you.
I sat down with friend and fellow coach, Diana Swillinger, and together we unpacked how family of origin dynamics continue to haunt, shape, and sometimes straight-up sabotage your healing after divorce.
What if the emotions you’re trying to keep at arm’s length (like grief and rage) are actually the very things that will set you free?
In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and fellow coach, Diana Swillinger. Today we’re talking about the emotional whirlwind that follows a divorce, especially for Christian women who were taught to be nice, stay quiet, and for the love of God, never get angry.
Well. We got angry. (And we’re still alive!)
Have you ever crawled your way out of an emotionally abusive relationship, finally free, only to be met with cold shoulders, Christian cliques, and confused stares from the very people who should’ve been first in line at your welcome-back party?
Or maybe you’ve thought about getting out, but your instincts all tell you that you’ll lose everyone you love in the process?
In this episode, I answer two listener-submitted questions that go straight to the heart of what so many Christian women wrestle with post-abuse: rejection from family, exclusion in church, and the confusion that comes with trying to be a decent human in the aftermath of emotional trauma.
Let’s talk about that weird emotional hangover you get after confronting your husband’s bad behavior. You know, the one where he hurts you, but somehow you end up feeling sorry for him? Yep. That old chestnut. In this episode, I get real about the trap so many of us Christian women fall into, the compassion boomerang that keeps us stuck in abusive marriages.
I’ve lived this. I breathed this for 25 years. I know exactly what it feels like to see the abuse for what it is, feel a spark of righteous anger… only to have it snuffed out by a fake tear, a Bible verse, or a bouquet of “I didn’t mean it that way” flowers. Before you know it, you’re back to feeling like the monster for having feelings in the first place.
So I’m calling it out. We’re unpacking why this happens, how it messes with your brain, and what you can do to flip the script and start feeling sorry for the person who truly deserves your compassion: you.
Hi friends, and Merry Christmas! I hope this special day brings moments of peace and reflection, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. In this solo episode, I reflect on the powerful connection between scent, memory, and emotion—especially during the holiday season. I’ll share personal stories, including my years as a soap maker, and how the fragrances of Christmas invite us to reflect on our own environments and experiences.
We’ll explore what it means to find hope and healing in unexpected circumstances and how the true spirit of Christmas can create a lasting fragrance of love, even in challenging seasons.