“How in the world am I going to tell my kids that we’re getting divorced?” Kids + divorce = a tricky topic, but I want to help calm your fears. I want to show you some questions you can ask yourself as you contemplate this big conversation with your children, and let’s give you some practical ideas as you introduce this new change in all of your lives.
Our relationships with our kids are important to us. We raised them from little babies and have deep connections with them, but when those relationships crumble, it can be devastating. Let’s answer some difficult questions about relationships with our kids and how we can navigate through them when our children disapprove of us and our decisions.
Jessica Nagy is joining us today to talk about how to raise children to be resilient, even when their dad is destructive. No matter if your kids are spending time alone with their dad at his house because you are separated or divorced or if they are spending time with their dad while you are present, there is a lot of trauma that comes with having an emotionally abusive dad, and we as moms need to know how to help our kids become resilient in the face of this trauma.
In this episode, you will learn about co-regulation (you can regulate yourself right alongside your kids!), practical techniques to help your kids regulate their emotions and develop resilience, find out how to download a free PDF with even more resources, and more. If you are a mother who is also a survivor of emotional abuse, this episode is just for you.
What does showing up for your children mean once they are adults? It is selfish to “let them go,” make mistakes, and struggle as they make their own way in the world? Also, why in the world would an abuser file for divorce from his victim? Isn’t it usually the other way around?
Natalie is back answering listener questions, and her insights will encourage and support you.
“I feel like a massive failure as a Christian and a mom. Like a puppet—and he’s pulling the strings.”
Too many women finally muster up the courage to leave their abusive husbands and face an even more painful betrayal: Their exes turn their own children against them. Lying, manipulating, bribing, even using threats in order to get the kids on their side.
It’s sickening. And it can feel like there’s no hope, no justice, and no way forward.
If this is you—wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, no matter how bad things are—I need you to stop and listen to me.
Because I’ve seen terrible cases of parental alienation turn around. I’ve lived it.
No matter what happens: Your future depends on cutting the strings of your puppeteer.
Is your husband great at playing dress up?
One moment, usually in public, he speaks sweetly, cuddles the baby, and prays over your family. The next moment, usually in the privacy of your home, he glares at you, yells in disgust, and gives you the silent treatment.
He’s the sun and a raging storm.
He’s heaven and hell.
He’s…? How do you figure out reality? How do you come to terms with the oil and water of who he is?
And what do you do when nobody believes that he and others like him are actually wolves in sweet, little sheep’s clothing?
What’s it like to experience divorce as a kid?
You’ve heard from me. You’ve heard from experts. You’ve heard from survivors.
What about the young ones caught in the throes of things they don’t understand. The ones who only know that Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and life, will never be the same again.
Divorce through the eyes of a teen…my own daughter.
It took you years, decades maybe, to understand what you were going through.
It’s no wonder your kids don’t recognize emotional abuse for what it is.
Especially because they’re wired to trust their dad. They’re wired to need his love.
So they still call him good, loving even. They still think you and their dad should be together.
You know better.
And it’s agony.
Lydia left her abusive husband.
Then she came back.
She found the guts to leave him again.
And returned another time.
In the end, it took SEVEN times for her to get free.
If you’ve been there or if you’re wondering whether you’ll ever get out too, she’s laying it all on the table in this episode.
The BEST PART? She’s thriving. And she’s no longer ashamed of her past.
Learn more about Lydia’s story in this episode and how you can thrive as well.