Welcome to Episode 2 of The Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, where we believe that living alone doesn’t mean you’re dying. It just means you finally have control of the thermostat.

In this episode, I sat down with Grace, Wendy, and Maile to talk about the surprisingly surreal and also beautiful journey of learning to live solo after divorce. From blackout curtains and bougie hotel sheets to full-on nervous system rewiring, we covered it all. If you’ve ever cried into a bowl of cereal on a Friday night and called it dinner, congratulations – you’re not broken. You’re just a woman figuring it out.

We’re not here to sugarcoat the first 365 days. They’re hard. But they’re also where the magic starts to crack through. And sometimes that magic smells like eucalyptus and sounds like absolute silence. The peaceful kind.

Key Takeaways: 

• Silence can be healing — it’s not loneliness, it’s peace in disguise.
• Blackout curtains and bougie sheets are therapy.
• You’re allowed to sleep in the middle of the bed.
• Cereal for dinner is valid. So is doing nothing.
• Your life wasn’t ruined. It’s just now beginning.
• God isn’t mad. He’s with you, not against you.
• Freedom feels weird at first. That’s normal.
• Self-trust grows when no one’s watching.
• Redecorating is emotional rehab. Light a candle.

Journal Questions:

1. When you were newly alone in your home, what emotions surfaced most strongly—fear, sadness, relief, peace, something else? What do those emotions reveal about your past experience and your present needs?

2. What are some small, tangible changes you’ve made to your physical space that have brought you comfort or joy? How do these changes reflect your emerging identity?

3. Think about a time recently when you trusted your own decision without needing external validation. What happened, and what did that experience teach you about your capacity to lead your own life?

4. What are some lies you used to believe about yourself, your value, or your ability to function alone? What truths have begun to replace those lies?

5. If you could speak to the version of yourself on Day One of your separation or divorce, what words of encouragement, truth, or reassurance would you offer?

Related Resources:

• Check out Wendy’s art on Instagram.
• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace. 
• Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence, emotional management, relational health and empowered self-development.

Article: Learning to Live Alone (Without Feeling Like You’re Dying)

So. You wake up one morning and the house is dead silent. Not “the kids are still asleep” silent. Not “husband left for work” silent. But the kind of silent that sits heavy on your chest and whispers, “This is your life now.”

Welcome to the first 365 days post-divorce, where eating cereal for dinner becomes an act of holy rebellion and sleeping in the middle of the bed feels like a radical political statement.

Let’s talk about what it’s really like to live alone after your marriage crumbles—and how to not feel like you’re dying in the process.

1. Welcome to Casa de YOU

One of the most powerful moments post-divorce comes when you realize that everything in your home is now yours. Your furniture, your wall art, your playlists (goodbye forever, “Christian Hits of the 90s”), and yes, your candle scents.

Maile shared how eucalyptus candles, once banned for being too “earthy,” now fill her home like an aromatic middle finger to the past. And Wendy? She turned her spare bedroom into an art studio where she splashes paint around without anyone complaining about the mess. That’s not just reclaiming space. That’s liberation with glitter on top.

If you haven’t already done this, I highly recommend a minor interior design rebellion. Move a chair. Toss the wedding photo. Buy the bougie hotel sheets. The peace is worth every penny.

2. Fear Is Normal (But So Is Peace)

Let’s be real: those first nights alone can be terrifying. Whether you’re worried about your ex showing up, your budget bottoming out, or simply the eerie sound of your fridge humming at 2am… it’s a whole mood.

But over and over, these women shared that peace was waiting right behind the fear. Wendy talked about stepping into a friend’s home and feeling peace so tangible she almost didn’t recognize it. Maile installed blackout curtains and security cameras. Grace turned to Audible and therapy podcasts like they were her lifeline.

You know what they discovered? That the fear didn’t mean they were weak. It meant they were human. And that peace? It wasn’t something they earned by being perfect Christians. It was something they allowed in when they finally stopped managing everyone else’s emotional temperature.

3. Letting Go of Performance Mode

When you live with someone who polices your every move—how you dress, what you eat, when you breathe—you learn to shrink. You tiptoe around their preferences, their moods, their fragile egos.

But then one day, like Wendy, you realize no one is judging your outfit. No one is timing your bedtime. No one is deducting points for not doing dishes at 10pm. And suddenly, you get to ask: What do I want?

Want to eat cereal for dinner? Do it. Want to sleep diagonally across the bed like a starfish in sweatpants? Please do. Want to cry, laugh, watch a dumb movie, or sit in silence? This is your sacred permission slip.

4. You’re Allowed to Like Yourself

Grace said something so simple, yet so profound: “I enjoy being with me now.” I could cry. Because that is the real miracle. Not the cameras or the comfy sheets (although those are fabulous). But the discovery that YOU are actually good company.

Learning to live alone teaches you to tune in. To notice the breeze during your walk. To enjoy the scent of your candle. To hear your own thoughts without judgment. To move to the center of the bed and remember that you’re allowed to take up space. That you don’t need to apologize for existing anymore.

And listen, you’re not lazy if you take a night off. You’re not selfish for tending to your body or your boundaries. You’re healing. You’re human. You’re enough.

5. Self-Trust Isn’t a Destination, It’s a Practice

So many of us were conditioned to believe that we couldn’t be trusted with our own lives. That we needed a man, a pastor, or an authority figure to confirm if our outfit was okay, our choices were biblical, and our hearts were in the right place.

But as the women in our Flying Higher community keep proving, trust is something you build. It’s built when you decide to rest instead of pushing through. When you say no without explaining yourself. When you don’t fold after making a mistake but say, “Oops, I’ve got this.”

Grace beautifully shared that her post-divorce journey has been like a long, slow sunrise. Darkness first, yes, but with each passing day, more light. More clarity. More freedom.

And that’s the truth: the fear, the grief, the questions? They don’t last. The healing does.

What I Wish I’d Told My Day-One Self

You’re not going to die of loneliness.

You’re not making the biggest mistake of your life.

You’re not ruining your kids.

You’re finally turning the light on in a room that’s been dark for far too long.

There will be nights that ache, but there will also be mornings where you wake up with a smile and realize… you are safe. You are whole. You are free.

And freedom? For some of us, it smells a lot like eucalyptus.

Final Words from Your Future Self

If you’re still in those early days, curled up on the edge of the bed, Googling “how to not freak out when you’re alone forever,” breathe. You’re not alone in this. You are part of a sisterhood of brave women who’ve felt what you feel, and are cheering you on every shaky step of the way.

Your life didn’t end with divorce.

It began.

Want Support on This Journey?

If this resonates with you, and you’re looking for a community of Christian women who get it, who don’t flinch at your story, and who will walk this healing road with you, come join us inside Flying Higher.

We’ve got resources, coaching, and a lot of truth-telling with love.