Episode 42 is a different kind of episode. No topic, no script. Just Diana and me sitting down for a conversation about what’s happening in our lives right now and what’s coming next for this podcast.
Life changes fast, even for the women who help other women navigate life’s hardest changes.
Tia Levings is the New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife and her newest book, I Belong to Me. She survived a Christian patriarchy cult, escaped a near murder-suicide, was excommunicated for telling her own story, and spent 15 years in intensive trauma therapy doing the work to put herself back together. Now she’s handing you the map to healing from religious trauma.
In this episode, Tia and I dig into the real mechanics of religious trauma recovery: why your body refuses to believe you’re safe even when your brain knows it, what “aftermath” actually means (it’s an agricultural word, and it will change how you see your own devastation), why grief work is not optional, and what agency has to do with the entire trajectory of your healing.
Last week was the why. This week is the what now. In Part 2 of this conversation, Natalie Hoffman and Diana Swillinger get practical about what it actually takes to move your nervous system from a state of constant threat management into something that feels like real life. And they go somewhere unexpected: the resistance to joy itself.
This is not a list of lofty advice. These are specific, doable practices that teach your body moment by moment that it is safe to let its guard down. There is also a deeper question: is “survival mode” even still the right story for where you are now?
Let’s talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” It’s a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling.
If you’ve spent your life apologizing for taking up space, smiling when you wanted to scream, or feeling guilty about basic human needs like rest, preferences, and an opinion of your own, this episode is going to feel like someone finally turned the lights on.
Three years since the divorce was finalized, and you’re still grinding your teeth at night and apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. What is going on? In this episode of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, Natalie Hoffman and Diana Swillinger tackle one of the most common and confusing questions from women who have finally gotten out: why doesn’t leaving make it stop?
Your brain knows the marriage is over. But your body hasn’t gotten that memo yet. And even when it does, it’s not flipping a switch for anybody. This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation on survival mode after divorce, and it begins with understanding why you’re still in it and what it’s doing to your daily life.
In this episode I’m answering a pressing question Christian women in difficult marriages ask: how do you find a church that will actually support you instead of silence you?
Because not all churches are created equal, and the difference between a safe church and a harmful one can change everything for a woman trying to find her footing. I’ll break down exactly what to look for, what to ask, and what red flags to run from.
