Welcome back, my fellow escape artists of dysfunction! In this episode, I sat back down with a power panel of divorced Christian moms—Diana, Loretta, Wendy, Jillian, and Lisa—to get real about what parenting looks like after you walk away from Crazytown, USA.

Spoiler: The kids do survive. Many even thrive. But getting there is a wild ride filled with therapy bills, awkward holidays, and the occasional trip to “Maury Povich Show” levels of drama.

Top Takeaways: 

• You’re Not Ruining Your Kids: Not the way staying in a toxic marriage would’ve. Divorce doesn’t break kids. Dysfunction does. And we’re breaking that cycle.
• Permission to Be Messy: Kids aren’t okay overnight. Neither are you. But giving yourself permission to suck at it sometimes? That’s healing.
• You’re Not Their Therapist: But you are their safe place. Listening, validating, and not losing your cool when they parrot their dad’s bonkers takes? That’s next-level momming.
• Boundaries Aren’t Just for Exes: Your kids need to learn them, too. And they will, when you model how to protect peace without apology.

Journal Questions:

1. What kind of emotional environment am I creating in my home post-divorce? How does it feel to my children—and to me?

2. How have I been tempted to judge myself as a mother because of the divorce? What would it sound like if I spoke to myself the way I speak to my child?

3. In what ways have I grown as a parent since the divorce? What strengths have surfaced in me that my kids now get to experience?

4. What family traditions, rhythms, or connections have helped us create a new sense of normal? What memories are we building now that we’ll carry forward?

5. If I fully trusted that God was using even this painful chapter to grow my children and me—how would I parent differently today?

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for divorced Christian women pursuing increased confidence, emotional management, relational health and empowered self-development. And it’s a bargain at only $59/month or $590 for an entire year of concentrated education and support. “I’m a LIFER” is what members often say. Join us and find out why!
• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace. (This is just a sample of the classes I teach in Flying Higher every month!)
• Go listen to Diana’s podcast, The Renew Your Mind Podcast.
• Contact Loretta at [email protected] 
• Listen to Jillian’s podcast, The Hungry for Love Podcast.
• Connect with Lisa at her Linktree.
• Check out Wendy’s art on her Instagram.

Article: Why Your Kids Aren’t Doomed After Divorce (Even If You Think They Are)

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off: if you’re a divorced Christian mom wondering whether you’ve totally messed up your kids for life, congrats, you’re officially normal.

When I first got divorced, I was pretty sure I’d ruined everyone. Myself, my kids, my reputation, my Christmas plans, you name it. But now? After years of wading through the messy aftermath with a bunch of fellow warrior moms? I can tell you this: the kids aren’t okay… at first. But they will be.

The Myth of the “Ruined” Child

There’s this belief, especially in our tight-laced, pew-warming circles, that divorce automatically turns kids into emotional wrecks. As if two parents living under the same toxic roof is somehow a magical formula for stability. Yeah. But no. 

Jillian, one of the moms I talked with, said it perfectly. She left her marriage because she wanted to protect her son from growing up in an emotionally abusive environment, one she knew too well from her own childhood. Her little guy had some big feelings, sure. Tantrums on transition days? Yes. Tears and clinginess? Absolutely. But over time, those stormy Mondays mellowed. The chaos didn’t last forever. And neither will yours.

Your New Normal Will Feel Weird (Until It Doesn’t)

I remember sitting around the dinner table with my four youngest, years after the second divorce, and I asked them, “Does it ever feel weird that it’s just us? No dad, no Norman Rockwell family portrait?” And one of my daughters rolled her eyes and said, “Mom, most families are like this.”

Kids are adaptable, especially if we stop acting like our family is some bizarre science experiment just because it doesn’t fit the “Christian ideal.” Normal is what you live every day. Not what Focus on the Family said you should be.

Teenagers Will Be Teenagers, Divorce or Not

Loretta had a whole squad of boys spanning middle school to high school, and her story is pure gold. Some of her sons spouted Scripture at her like they were fresh off a pulpit. Others were just thrilled they could finally join the swim club without getting side-eyed by Dad. CPS even knocked on her door once because a well-meaning pastor thought her son’s oversharing needed state intervention. (It didn’t.)

Here’s the deal: Teenagers are gonna be moody, mouthy, and melodramatic whether you’re married, divorced, or living in a yurt. Don’t blame every adolescent outburst on your split. Sometimes they’re just being 15.

Create a Safe Space, Not a Drama Stage

Your job post-divorce isn’t to explain your ex’s dysfunction or relitigate who took what. It’s to be the safe place. The emotionally consistent one. The parent who doesn’t freak out when their kid says, “Dad says you’re a Jezebel.”

Yes, that actually happened to Loretta.

And no, she didn’t launch into a sermon about Ahab or narcissism. She just told my kid, “Well, then I guess you can call me Jezzie for short.” When you stop defending and start deflating the drama with humor and grace, everything shifts. You become the lighthouse in their emotional hurricane.

Your Kids Need Connection, Not Perfection

During the divorce, one of my sons chose to live with his dad. Did I love that? Nope. Did I respect it? You bet. And every week, I’d take him out for breakfast, not because I was trying to lure him back (although he eventually did move in with us), but because I loved him. I wanted him to know that no matter what address he listed, I was his mom, and he mattered.

Connection is everything. More than therapy (though therapy’s great), more than traditions (which are going to change anyway), more than what anyone else thinks of your mothering. If they know you love being with them even when they’re messy, mouthy, or moody, they’ll feel safe.

Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

Not all kids want therapy. Not all kids process on your timeline. And sometimes the only tradition you get to keep post-divorce is eating tacos for Thanksgiving and making terrariums on Christmas. That’s okay.

What matters is that you’re showing up. That you’re becoming emotionally healthy enough to let your kids have their own feelings without spiraling. That you’re modeling what boundaries, self-respect, and authentic joy look like.

Loretta once drew concentric circles to explain to her kids how to manage relationships starting with who gets full access and who only gets the weather report. That’s a skill most adults don’t learn until a therapist charges them $150 an hour. Your kids are getting it for free.

Final Truth Bomb: You Didn’t Ruin Your Kids

Maybe you chose divorce. Maybe divorce chose you. Either way, if you’re reading this, you’re not the mom who’s checked out and given up. You’re in the trenches, doing the hard work of healing yourself so your kids don’t have to spend their adulthood untangling trauma. That’s not failure. That’s legacy.

So next time you panic that your kids are going to grow up damaged because you walked away from a damaging marriage, remind yourself of this: You didn’t break your family. You just took the pieces and started building something stronger.

And if your ex says you stole all the smoke detectors? Just raise your eyebrow, sip your coffee, and let your kid decide what sounds more believable: Mom the arsonist or Mom the badass.

Come work with me and hundreds of other divorced Christian women in Flying Higher if you want more support as you help your kids heal after divorce.

Also. We laugh. A lot. 

XOXO,

Natalie