Abusers will project their own inner identity and issues onto their victims. Let’s talk about what that means, how it impacts a survivor, and what you can do about it.
BILL! My friend, Bill, wrote a little comment on my site that I wanted to share with you all. It wasn’t a nice comment, but honestly, that’s what makes this episode fun! Let’s take a look at what our little gaslighting friend said and examine more closely where he got it wrong.
“Why do you keep bringing up the past?”
“You can’t have boundaries with me. You’re my wife.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“I said I was sorry. You need to accept that. Let’s choose to have a good day now.”
“You think you’re so perfect.”
Do these phrases sound familiar? They certainly sound familiar to me. I want to show you some ways you can combat these words your abuser throws at you, even if you’re just combating them in your own mind. You don’t even have to say anything out loud (because we all know what happens when we try to reason with an abuser/fool). You can just say these phrases I’m going to teach you in your head, and that will be enough to give you the empowerment and strength you need!
But first, let’s check out a negative review I recently received *gasp* and look to Matthew 23 to help us figure out if this reviewer is on the right track…or not.
In today’s episode, I answer more listener questions from women just like you who are trying to figure out what is happening inside of their painful and confusing marriage. If you want to leave a question for me to answer on the Flying Free Podcast, I would love to hear from you! Here are the questions being addressed today:
– Is my husband emotionally abusive or is it possible that he’s just emotionally weak and unavailable due to his own past and trauma that he hasn’t dealt with yet?
– Does my husband abuse me on purpose? Does he know what he’s doing?
– How do I know it’s time to leave my abusive husband?
– Has my abusive husband actually changed, or is he a fraud?
Is teaching survivors how to have boundaries the equivalent of victim blaming? I’ve seen this topic come up again and again, and I thought it was time I stated what I believe about it. The bottom line is that I believe that boundaries is an essential tool in a survivor’s toolbox. I also believe abuse is never, ever the survivor’s fault. Those two beliefs can go hand in hand nicely, and I’m going to show you how.
Join me as I explain my stance, why it’s important, and what McDonald’s burgers and fries have to do with the whole sordid affair.
“Communication is key,” right? But healthy communication often isn’t possible with an emotionally abusive individual who twists your words and uses them against you.
Today’s conversation is with Mikki Gardner, Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach. Mikki’s expertise and knowledge will help propel you forward as you learn how to deal with toxic communication cycles in the context of co-parenting.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
