Tag: Church

Help! My Church is Going to Kick Me Out Unless I Submit to Their Authority and Go Back to My Abuser!

Help! My Church is Going to Kick Me Out Unless I Submit to Their Authority and Go Back to My Abuser! [Episode 217]

Does the Bible tell women that they need to stay with their abusive husband in the hope that her good behavior and great example will convert him? And how in the world are you supposed to respond to church leadership when they tell you that you need to submit to them?

Let’s look to the Bible for answers to these tough questions (that I bet have crossed your mind once or twice!) and find out what Jesus wants for women who are being oppressed in these various ways.

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Why Being Rejected by Your Church and Family Hurts So Bad

Why Being Rejected by Your Church and Family Hurts So Bad [Episode 186]

“I don’t think I’ll ever heal from this,” she said. “You expect harm from people who only harm you. From him. Not the ones who know you, who grew up with you, who you went to church with.”

Do you know the pain of rejection by your family, friends, and church? I do. I’ve lost entire nights of sleep swimming in that pain. It’s mind-numbing. Excruciating.

A listener told me that after being rejected by her church and family, she felt like she was standing on an alien ship watching her home planet being blown up. Then she asked the questions you might be wondering too:

How do we survive such great loss? Is there any healing for grief that goes deeper than your bones? Hurts that nearly fracture your body?

Yes, dear one. But the truth is that as painful as the facts are, your hurt is increased 100 fold by the story you’re telling yourself about it. And the meaning you’re giving that story.

From one heart-weary woman to another, here’s the scoop on the most important story of your life..and the secret to changing it.

Because rejection hasn’t ended the good of your story. Not by a long shot.

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The Worst Things People Say to Justify, Minimize, and Excuse the Abuse You’ve Experienced

The Worst Things People Say to Justify, Minimize, and Excuse the Abuse You’ve Experienced [Episode 168]

I have two presents for you.

One is a regift. The other is brand-spanking, hot-off-the-waffle-press new.

First, I compiled some of the best (and by “best” I mean absolute trash and worst) things people say to Christian women in abusive marriages when they seek help or divorce.

Second, I’m giving you a comeback. A burn-it-to-the-ground, shred-it-to-cheddar-cheese, drop-the-mic, break-the-wrist-and-walk-away comeback for every single one.

I know how hard it is to stand before people who attack your character, deny your reality, determine your destiny, and demand your unquestioning allegiance…to your own destruction (in this case…as a married woman). The endless, useless, conflicting platitudes they give instead of real help and logical advice.

I also know how gutted you feel, how tongue-tied and mind-mushed you are when people spout off what sounds holy and bossy and right but is actually idiotic and damaging.

So unwrap your presents (press play) and revel in the ridiculous while I slaughter these silly arguments once and for all.

And you can regift these babies with my blessing.

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How Churches Can Help Abuse Victims (And How They Often Hurt Them Instead)

How Churches Can Help Abuse Victims (And How They Often Hurt Them Instead) [Episode 166]

It’s hammer time.

I’ve broken down the problems churches face when abuse victims come forward (along with how churches usually react). Then, I smash through the fallacies their hurtful behavior is constructed on. Finally, I provide the building blocks of how to respond to abuse like Jesus did, so the church can be a tool of healing instead of just…tools.

Cause there’s no point in demoing a building if you don’t intend to build something better.

Here’s how the real church should respond to women begging for help from abusive partners.

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When You Lose Your Church Family

When You Lose Your Church Family

Have you suffered the debilitating loss of your church family? This can be a traumatic experience that takes a lifetime to process. Find out why, and how you can think about this in a way that empowers you to love more and experience peace in spite of the pain.

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What I Would Preach to the Modern Day Preachers (if they would listen...)

What I Would Preach to the Modern Day Preachers (if they would listen…) [Episode 131]

Have you ever talked to people who weren’t there? Imagined conversations in your head? Perfected your argument while showering or lying in bed?

I did that…and made it into a podcast.

But this conversation isn’t with just one person. It’s with tens of thousands of people. Pastors.

Because the survivor community knows the price of patriarchy in the church. We know the cost of being controlled. We know the damage of being devalued. And pastors NEED to KNOW this too.

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