What does showing up for your children mean once they are adults? It is selfish to “let them go,” make mistakes, and struggle as they make their own way in the world? Also, why in the world would an abuser file for divorce from his victim? Isn’t it usually the other way around?
Natalie is back answering listener questions, and her insights will encourage and support you.
“I feel like a massive failure as a Christian and a mom. Like a puppet—and he’s pulling the strings.”
Too many women finally muster up the courage to leave their abusive husbands and face an even more painful betrayal: Their exes turn their own children against them. Lying, manipulating, bribing, even using threats in order to get the kids on their side.
It’s sickening. And it can feel like there’s no hope, no justice, and no way forward.
If this is you—wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, no matter how bad things are—I need you to stop and listen to me.
Because I’ve seen terrible cases of parental alienation turn around. I’ve lived it.
No matter what happens: Your future depends on cutting the strings of your puppeteer.
For women escaping emotionally abusive husbands, divorce often feels like a scarlet “A” on their chest. Or “D.” They wonder if they’ll be marked for life.
And worse, they fear how their kids will suffer the consequences.
First, because they lived in a home of chaos and pain and trauma. Second, because they’ll have to face the assumptions and judgment of other people.
A “broken” family. A single-parent household. “Sinful” parents. Not “true” Christians. Bad influences. The sort of mom and kids other people whisper about.
Is this your fear? Your reality? Then I’ve got great news and lots of it.
What’s it like to experience divorce as a kid?
You’ve heard from me. You’ve heard from experts. You’ve heard from survivors.
What about the young ones caught in the throes of things they don’t understand. The ones who only know that Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and life, will never be the same again.
Divorce through the eyes of a teen…my own daughter.
It took you years, decades maybe, to understand what you were going through.
It’s no wonder your kids don’t recognize emotional abuse for what it is.
Especially because they’re wired to trust their dad. They’re wired to need his love.
So they still call him good, loving even. They still think you and their dad should be together.
You know better.
And it’s agony.
What now?
In today’s episode, I answer listener questions about staying connected to your kids post-divorce, how to handle parental alienation, a healthy approach to decision-making, figuring out if your husband is really changing, and more!
