Helping women of faith find hope and healing after emotional and spiritual abuse

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A Thank You Letter to the False Church (and one for the True Church too)

by | Apr 17, 2019 | Articles, Healing from Spiritual Abuse, Waking Up | 12 comments

Dear False Church,

Thank you for rejecting me.

I see you.

Thank you for not letting my daughter play with yours.

I see you.

Thank you for taking advantage of me for so many years. You sucked me dry and spit my bones out.

I see you.

Thank you for disregarding my voice. For not believing me.

I see you.

Thank you for sending me letters full of beautiful pious words of condemnation that hid satanic desire for power and control.

I see you.

Thank you for pretending to love while kicking me in the back when I was down.

I see you.

Thank you for believing my abuser and enabling him to continue to abuse.

I see you.

Thank you for teaching me that grace and power is for men and condemnation and suffering is for women.

I see you.

Thank you for ignoring my children.

I see you.

Thank you for discrediting me by spreading your gossip and lies to hundreds of people publicly.

I see you.

Thank you for defending your image and your idol of marriage while sacrificing my life on your idol alter.

I see you.

Thank you for using the Bible as a weapon of control.

I see you.

Thank you for treating me like I was a worthless piece of shit while you were something to admire and obey.

I see you.

Thank you for following me to my new church and “warning” the elders about me. Thank you for hanging on to your hate like rabid dogs.

I see you.

Thank you for hiding your vile hearts behind benevolent smiles and flowery Bible verses that you twist to your satanic purposes.

I see you.

Thank you for revealing who you really are (and who you are not).

I see you, and I can’t unsee you now. You have no clothes on. You sleep with the devil. And because you’ve revealed yourself to me, I will not be fooled by you again. To say goodbye to you means I can embrace the true Church of Jesus Christ.

To shake off your chains means I can run with joy and freedom.

Dear True Church,

Thank you for crying with me.

You saw me.

Thank you for sitting quietly with me and listening.

You saw me.

Thank you for praying for me.

You saw me.

Thank you for sharing a meal with me.

You saw me.

Thank you for validating my rage and pain.

You saw me.

Thank you for your words of kindness and hope.

You saw me.

Thank you for your gentle touch.

You saw me.

Thank you for listening to my children and understanding what they needed.

You saw them.

Thank you for believing me.

You saw me.

Thank you for spending time with me.

You saw me.

Thank you for making me laugh again.

You saw me.

Thank you for having healthy boundaries.

You saw me.

Thank you for using the Bible as healing balm.

You saw me.

Thank you for teaching me how to make decisions.

You empowered me.

Thank you for revealing who you really are (and who you are not).

I see you, and I can’t unsee you now. You are the body of Christ. You do His work in this world. And because you’ve revealed yourself to me, I will not be fooled by a false church again. To fellowship with you means I no longer need to stay shamed and harmed by frauds.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

12 Comments

  1. Jen

    I was married for 21 years, homeschooled 7 children and suffered tremendous verbal, financial, emotional and occasional physical abuse for the majority of the marriage. I finally became suicidally depressed about 3 years ago and sought out help secretly from a Roman Catholic priest, of all people. I was not Catholic, mind you. It was God’s mighty hand rescuing me because this person basically tied a rope around my waist and pulled me from the pit. My divorce was final almost a year ago but this past year has been the worst yet. I was forced to get a restraining order, along with my 21 year old daughter. He is dragging me to court, accusing me of lies and promises to ruin me. The stress and anxiety feel too much at times but with God’s help, I will perservere. I am so thankful to have found you! Your book is like reading my own thoughts. God bless you!

    Reply
  2. Pereka

    This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing

    Reply
  3. Jackie

    Thank you for your courage, Natalie. Your authenticity is a great example for me to follow.

    Reply
  4. venice Liston

    You are a blessing thank you for all you do . Continue to get help too for yourself we all need therapy and counseling . I do too, and have , and right now i need more .. Thank you for so much that you do praying God Blesses you tremendously. .

    Reply
  5. Jaime

    It’s amazing how similar our stories are but you definitely had it much worse with the “outspoken” in the church and the emotional trauma you have experienced. It’s so very hurtful and I can totally relate! My soon to be ex husband still has his position at a large Baptist church , in the SOUTH, and we have been in Youth Ministry for over 13 years. This past summer, in a depression that I’ve never experienced, my parents and God rescued me and my two precious children out of a toxic, horrific situation and we never went back there to live full time. I could tell you many, many more stories of the trauma that this has caused but GOD rescued me and my children from continuing to live like that with a man that I discovered does not know God and is able to manipulate and control everyone around him and has for many years!
    However, I have been through the same exact emotions you have had, the rejection, betrayal, fears and hopes…It’s so cool to see how GOD placed you in the life of me (and so many other women) going through similar situations and set me literally on a ROCK after being in a pit of despair for many years.
    I want to say THANK YOU , THANK YOU for your boldness, authenticity, and pure , honest heart about emotional abuse in “Christian” marriage and ESPECIALLY in the church! The HOPE & guidance that you have given me over the last two years have been life-giving and encouraging on my hardest days of despair and defeat! LOVE how God intertwined our paths & led me to Flying Free and I cannot Thank you enough for being FAITHFUL to the TRUE GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST and speaking so openly & boldly about a topic that crucially needs to be addressed in the church of these so-called believers claiming to know the Christ that died on a cross to set us FREE! Love in Christ, Jaime

    Reply
    • Natalie Hoffman

      This is bitter sweet – and makes me happy sad. Happy that God is working, working, working in the middle of all the chaos – and sad that there are so many like us. I long for the day when this gets turned around.

      Reply
  6. I’ll Be Free Soon

    Spot on, poignant, and beautiful.

    You are a treasure.

    Reply
  7. Elisabeth

    Natalie, you have the admiration, prayers, support, and thanksgiving of so many women. We know this is not your goal. Your goal is to help your sisters along this journey with the hard-won wisdom of experience, and the life-liberating truth of God’s love and purpose for His children. You are a voice for so many. May your spirit be nurtured by the unceasing compassion of The Lord who is nigh the broken, weak, and faltering, may your soul rest in the shadow of His wings of mercy and truth.

    Reply
  8. Iris

    You’re letter to the true church brought tears to my eyes. It’s the church I thought I had always belonged to, had thought was my family, had thought would have my back, yet they still choose to enable the abusers and love ‘them’, which is also true for my direct family…not one stands against the destructive evil that continually causes chaos and heartache.
    The true church for me is online now, it’s where I have found authentic understanding, grace, care and actual loving hearts. My heart breaks for the centuries of women who didnt have the gift of being validated through the wonderful blogs (like yours), books, and other online resources available to us now, how alone and shattered so many have been.
    Thank you for all you do Natalie, and may God bless your continuing fight against the lies and poison of all the wolves in sheep’s clothing and their blind and ignorant minions…it’s long past time for their wicked reign to be over with and done.

    Reply
    • Natalie Hoffman

      Agreed. I’ve found the true church in quiet, hidden places where I would not have looked before. Mostly in the relationships I have with other rejected souls. Jesus sees His own, and He will never let us go.

      Reply

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