Rebuilding Archives

My Abusive Husband Says I’m Unbiblical Unless I Reconcile with Him [Episode 195]

November 1, 2022

“Unless you forgive and come back to me, you’re disobeying God and the Bible!”

If I were your abusive husband, I’d say the same thing. Why? Cause then I’d get what I want. Woohoo! Isn’t that what the Bible is all about?

Oh, begging your pardon. I was basing my opinion off how I see most church leaders and many legalistic Christians approach the Bible.

Which means that if you’re looking for advice on whether you should reconcile with your abusive husband — and what reconciliation really means — you’re going to get a whole charcuterie board of different answers. From biased people. Trying to interpret text that doesn’t give a full answer on… basically anything.

Consider this alternative: Ask a different question and provide your own answer.

Sound heretical? Then keep reading (and listening).

Confronting Religious Trauma and Reconstructing Faith: Interview with Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks [Episode 192]

October 11, 2022

“I’m going to be ninety-two next month, and I have waited my entire life for a book like this.”

A woman said this to Tiffany after she spoke to a Sunday School class about her book, “Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith.”

Many Christians are told their doubts are a sign they haven’t prayed or fasted enough. That their spiritual frustrations are an indication they’re backsliding. That they just don’t have enough faith.

Do you feel a sense of futility over ever measuring up as a Christian? Ever pleasing God? Ever nailing down the formula for blessing or meeting the mark for making yourself small enough?

Tiffany wrote “Gaslighted by God” to give a voice to the pain of devoted Christians whose faith is cracking under the abuse of legalism, who are desperately clinging to beliefs that are hurting them, and who need to know it’s not their fault.

Why Self-Leadership is More Effective Than Being Held Accountable [Episode 191]

October 4, 2022

How do you feel about accountability? Like it, love it, want some more of it?

Or maybe it’s like medicine to you — icky but necessary.

Hold on to your booty, cause I’ve got an opinion on it too.

I think it’s a made-up practice that got a “virtue” sticker slapped on it. I think it arrests our development into emotional adulthood. In fact, I’d say accountability does more harm than good.

And it can never match the power of internal motivation for true, lasting life change.

The Wife with Boundaries: Changing the Conversation on Biblical Submission [Episode 184]

August 16, 2022

Is there poison in your home?

No, I don’t mean rat poison or toxic chemicals or asbestos. It’s words. On pages. In a book. One that’s given as a wedding gift. When times are tough. When you’re desperate. When you’ve run out of ideas and options to help your marriage and somebody gives you 336 pages of “hope.”

The poison is the answer ringing from every page of this book. You were, as Debi Pearl puts it, “Created to Be His Help Meet.” And lots of women have gulped it down, me included.

Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Sweet. Simple. Godly.

Because double standards and coercive control and whitewashed tombs are biblical, right?

In this interview with Chelsea Wells, she and I discuss the poisonous messages of Debi Pearl’s book before we toss them in the shredder.

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Three [Episode 183]

August 9, 2022

Life after abuse can feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You struggle with the same things. The same thoughts. The same downward spirals. Over and over and over.

Flying Free is all about breaking out of harmful cycles, in and after abusive relationships. If you want to see this in action, Amie is a poster child for life beyond abuse: healing, thriving, and constantly growing.

Our discussion was so powerful, her story so incredible, the amazing freedom she’s experienced so inspiring, that we talked for two hours. There was no way I was going to cut a single minute from the recording, so I broke it into three episodes.

This series catalogs her thought transformations, from old to new, across the most important aspects of her life, the parts that were hit the hardest by spiritual and emotional abuse. So if you’re feeling stuck, defeated, or just plain frustrated as heck in your recovery process, this is one of the greatest freebies you’ll come across.

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Two [Episode 182]

August 2, 2022

“I’ve got to share this with as many people as possible.” That’s what I decided when Amie showed me her thought work from Flying Higher.

What the heck is “thought work”? Well, I’ll answer your question with a question.

How often do you have the same thoughts? You know, the crappy ones. “Nothing will ever change. If I could just get him to see how much he’s hurting me. I have to wait for God to move; I can’t do anything about this. I need someone to come rescue me. I’m trapped. I’ll never heal.”

What if you had new beliefs that led to new emotions and new actions and an ENTIRE NEW LIFE?

I’m not blowing smoke up your tailpipe. The truth is: You could have all your problems solved right now, and you’d still be stuck if your thoughts didn’t change too. And they don’t on their own.

Our beliefs keep us in abuse. It’s only our beliefs that can free us. Thought work is the simple way to break free.

Want some clear evidence? I recorded three episodes’ worth—Amie’s story. It’s incredible, and one of many in the Sisterhood.

Category: Rebuilding