Welcome to Season 3 of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast! This season we’re getting all up in your business (literally): the money business. And we’re kicking things off by asking: What’s your money mindset looking like after divorce? Is it cool, calm, and collected, or hiding in a closet stress-eating Oreos and ignoring the bill collectors?

I invited my friend and fellow coach Diana Swillinger to help us unpack the tangled web of beliefs we’ve inherited about money, and how to burn those unhelpful scripts to the ground so we can build a mindset that actually serves us.

Key Takeaways:

• Your money beliefs didn’t drop from heaven on a golden scroll. They were absorbed from your family, church, culture, and that one pastor who said poverty = holiness 
• You’re allowed to love money. Not in a “Scrooge McDuck swimming in gold coins” kind of way, but in a “money helps me take care of my life and generously support others” kind of way.
• Money is not evil. Abuse of power is. And guess what? You having resources = you having options = less abuse. Coincidence? I think not.
• Self-trust is everything. If you’ve been financially controlled, rebuilding trust in yourself is the first step. God wants you to believe in yourself, because guess who made you? 
• You are not the exception to God’s love. Generosity starts with you. Stop excluding yourself from the care you give to everyone else.
• You can be Christian AND want financial security. Shocker, I know. 

Related Resources:

• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This FREE 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $59/month or $590 for an entire year of mind-blowing personal growth. 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 
• Grab a copy of You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero

Article: Money Mindset: How Our Beliefs About Money Impact Our Lives

Let’s stop pretending that broke = holy.

Welcome to the very first episode of our new season on all things money, because honey, if we don’t talk about it, we’ll stay stuck in shame, fear, and lies. 

Let’s talk about money mindset.

Can You Love Money Without Worshipping It?

My co-host Diana said it: “I love money.”

Cue the collective Christian gasp. But let’s break this down. If money gets me groceries, clean water, a heated home, and the ability to give my son $500 toward his car, then yes, I love what money allows me to do.

Money is neutral. It’s not holy. It’s not evil. It’s a tool. Like a shovel. And if someone wants to dig holes in their backyard or bury their dreams with it, fine. But some of us are building futures. For ourselves and our kids.

What Beliefs About Money Are Keeping You Stuck?

When Diana was married, money was a disaster. Her ex would blow through it like he was trying to win a medal for financial dysfunction. Bills were unpaid. Savings? What’s that? She started to believe that she was the problem. That she was “bad with money.” That she’d never have enough. That maybe being poor was just her holy calling.

Those beliefs were not “humble.” They were disempowering. And they were planted in Diana by a patriarchal system that thrives on women being financially dependent, compliant, and controllable.

But she changed. Her mindset changed. And when your mindset shifts, so does your reality. What you think, you feel. What you feel, you do. And what you do determines your results. It’s not magic. It’s called Cognitive Behavioral Truth Bombs.

Does Trusting Yourself Mean You Don’t Trust God?

Some of you have been told that self-trust is prideful. That believing in yourself is worldly. That your worth is directly proportional to how much you don’t trust yourself.

To that I say: baloney.

God didn’t create you to stay two years old spiritually, emotionally, or financially. Trusting yourself is not an act of rebellion. It’s an act of alignment with your Creator. He believes in you. So why on earth would you disrespect Him by refusing to believe in yourself?

When Diana said, “I believe in me,” what I heard was God saying, “Yes, daughter. You finally get it.”

What If You Already Have What You Need?

Listen. Wanting financial stability, security, and freedom isn’t greedy. It’s called being a responsible adult. But here’s the kicker: Sometimes you already have the life you thought you were chasing. And realizing that? That’s peace.

The entrepreneurial world will scream at you that you must constantly scale, grow, and crush six-figure goals or you’re failing. But I’m not interested in hustle culture for the sake of ego. I want a life that feels rich, not just one that looks rich on paper.

So yes, I can believe “I have enough,” and “I am capable of creating more if I need to.” Those two thoughts are best friends, not enemies.

Is Tithing a New Testament Command or Just a Guilt Trip?

Ah yes, the sacred cow of Christian finance. Tithing.

I grew up in the culty world of Bill Gothard, where tithing 10% was basically your ticket to divine approval. Don’t tithe? Well, then God’s going to let your car engine explode and your water heater flood the basement. Enjoy!

Here’s what I believe now: the 10% tithe is an Old Testament tax system designed to support the Levitical priesthood. It is not a New Testament requirement. The early church gave as they were led, with joy, not guilt. And for many of them, that meant a whole lot MORE than 10%. For others, it meant paying their own bills and feeding their own kids that night. Radical, right?

You are not more holy if you tithe. And you’re not under God’s curse if you don’t. Give because you want to. Give where you want to. That could be a church or it could be your single-mom neighbor who can’t afford groceries this week. God’s not legalistic about generosity. We are.

What If Generosity Includes You Too?

Christian women are taught to give. And give. And give. Until there’s literally nothing left to give. And then somehow we’re praised for being “selfless” while quietly burning out in a heap of financial stress, resentment, and unpaid medical bills.

Here’s the deal: you are allowed to be generous toward yourself. Saving for your future? Generous. Taking a course to better your career? Generous. Investing in therapy or support (hi, Flying Higher)? Also generous.

When you treat yourself with care, you’re not being selfish. You’re modeling stewardship. And you’re ensuring that you have something left to give when someone else needs it.

Let’s stop spiritualizing burnout and call it what it is: a broken system that trains women to see themselves as undeserving of financial stability and the freedom that offers them.

What Happens When You Believe There’s Always a Way?

One of my favorite mantras is simple but powerful: “There is a way.”

When you start looking for opportunities instead of obstacles, the world shifts. Scarcity tells you to shut down, hide, or wait for someone else (maybe a husband, maybe the government, maybe the pastor) to rescue you. Abundance says: you are allowed to show up for your own life. Right now.

You don’t need to know every step yet. Just take the next one. And then the next. Because believing in your ability to create income and stability is brave.

Is God Really Mad That You Bought a Latte?

God is not sitting in heaven scowling every time you make a dollar or ask for a raise. He’s not punishing you because you dared to buy name-brand coffee creamer. He’s not withholding blessings because you “only” gave 7% last month.

God’s not petty. But patriarchy? Oh, it loves to keep you small, silent, and scared.

So if you’ve been financially disempowered for years, whether by a husband, a church, or your own beliefs, this is your wake-up call.

You’re allowed to want money. You’re allowed to earn it. You’re allowed to save it. You’re allowed to give it. And you’re allowed to build a beautiful life with it.

Not because money is your god, but because you’ve finally decided to stop worshipping fear.

You ready to shift your money mindset for good?

Join us in Flying Higher, the mentorship community for divorced Christian women who are ready to build a new life, one empowering belief at a time. And be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind!

XOXO,

Natalie