Once upon a time, I dared to write a letter to the pastor of a church I was attending at the time (after having been excommunicated from another church for telling the truth about my life, requesting help, and then acquiring a divorce to protect myself). In my letter, I wrote that his sermon that morning did not take into account abuse survivors’ experiences—survivors who were probably sitting in the pews that morning confused and scared about what he was preaching at them. I wanted him to hear his own words from a different perspective—a survivor’s perspective. Surely this letter wouldn’t fall on deaf ears. He was a shepherd representing Jesus, right? He loved his flock and would want to care for their hearts, right?

Wrong.

Let me read you the letter I sent him, and then let me read you his letter back. It may shock you that a “shepherd” would respond this way. It shocked me then, too, but it doesn’t shock me anymore. I’ll tell you why in today’s episode.

I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today, I’m sharing a little bit of part one, written from the perspective of little Natalie.

Grab a cup of tea and a blanket, and snuggle in to listen to this little girl’s experience. You might even hear your own inner child trying to tell you something important.