Boundaries Archives

How to Achieve Financial Independence After Abuse [Episode 140]

October 12, 2021

Do you picture yourself and your children begging on the streets if you dare to leave?

Are you overwhelmed at the thought of making ends meet as a single mom?

Do you wonder how you’ll pay for groceries, much less legal fees, if you escape?

One of the biggest fears for women in abusive marriages is that they won’t survive financially.

And it’s a fear based on a lot of truth.

But it’s not the final say.

Hear from a woman who’s been there, done, and literally wrote a book on it. So don’t turn back.

But Didn’t I Promise to Stay in Sickness and in Health? What About Mental Illness? [Episode 139]

October 5, 2021

When you react to your husband’s abuse, it can feel like you’re the abuser.

When he tells you how hard his childhood was, you may feel sorry for him.

When you read about personality disorders, some of the symptoms fit you.

When you read about mental illness, the symptoms also fit him.

Which makes you wonder…

If your husband was abused, is it really fair to hold his harmful behavior against him?

If he has unresolved trauma or a personality disorder, is it wrong to expect him to treat you better?

And even more confusing…

What if your C-PTSD sometimes mimics a personality disorder?

What if your traumatic responses seem abusive?

What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part Two [Episode 134]

August 31, 2021

Was there a day when you realized he was doing it all on purpose?

After all your tears, your pleading, and explanations, there was no way you could keep excusing his behavior.

His explanations didn’t fly.

You knew you didn’t hold the blame.

Maybe he finally, actually admitted it.

As painful as that realization is, it’s also your secret weapon—knowledge that can empower you.

Sound crazy? In Part 2 of 2, What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You, I’ll prove it.

What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part One [Episode 133]

August 24, 2021

You are married to a bully. If only he’d steal your lunch money or call you a dingus during math class and be done with it.

Instead, he makes everything into a torturous game with changing rules that benefit one person. Himself. On the really bad days, you want to learn karate and get featured on the evening news.

Take heart, sweet potato. There’s a better way.

I’ve graphed his sleazy points and made a road map for dealing with his shenanigans.

Fair warning: It’s gonna take guts but it will be well worth it. And you won’t even need karate.

Survivor Story: Marie [Episode 132]

August 17, 2021

The length of your marriage. You’ll never forget it. 3 years of holes in the wall. 9 years of sleepless nights. 17 years of pleading. 25 years of silence. 43 years of lowering your standards again and again and again.

While the past can’t be changed, and that time is set, your recovery is NOT. It has NO LIMIT. It has NO TIMELINE.

The depth of your pain and suffering do not outweigh your ability to heal. It all comes down to whether you want it.

The evidence?

Women like Marie. She found healing and transformation in community—one that’s available to you.

What I Would Preach to the Modern Day Preachers (if they would listen…) [Episode 131]

August 10, 2021

Have you ever talked to people who weren’t there? Imagined conversations in your head? Perfected your argument while showering or lying in bed?

I did that…and made it into a podcast.

But this conversation isn’t with just one person. It’s with tens of thousands of people. Pastors.

Because the survivor community knows the price of patriarchy in the church. We know the cost of being controlled. We know the damage of being devalued. And pastors NEED to KNOW this too.

Category: Boundaries