“Till death do us part.” Those words haunt you.
The enemy was supposed to be outside your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away.
But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to.
And he’s counting on it.
What does showing up for your children mean once they are adults? It is selfish to “let them go,” make mistakes, and struggle as they make their own way in the world? Also, why in the world would an abuser file for divorce from his victim? Isn’t it usually the other way around?
Natalie is back answering listener questions, and her insights will encourage and support you.
If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love.
You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom.
You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage.
You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you.
But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction.
So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you.
If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you.
If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU.
Do you wonder why you feel so angry and defeated about the way your husband treats you?
It’s not cause you were a closet rage monster before you got married. It’s not cause you’re crazy or demanding or that you just love drama.
He’s been stomping in your flower beds.
And YOU’VE been told that you had to leave the garden gate open in order to be a good wife and a good Christian.
If you’ve been wondering “Is it me?” then let’s make sense of your confusing marriage in this two-part episode.
The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider.
They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all you never had. Especially in relationships.
Maybe they used to be a time of excitement and joy, but now you only feel dread and loneliness and grief.
If you find yourself wishing you could sleep until January comes around, or your eyes well up whenever you imagine how miserable these “special” days will be, gather round.
This episode is a warm blanket snuggled around your shoulders, a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, and a sweet gift-wrapped dose of hope from me…to you.
Imagine carrying around a backpack full of books from high school.
You aren’t taking those classes anymore, but you always carry the weight anyway.
It digs into your shoulders. It makes you tired. Slows you down. Doesn’t let you truly rest. It keeps others from getting close.
Abuse is like that. It teaches us a lot—lessons no one should ever learn. And lessons we don’t even realize we’re still living out.
So we may escape abusive relationships, but we’re stuck in limbo, carrying the textbooks we think hold the truth about life, love, and ourselves.
Listen to this episode to learn how to be truly free from your past.
If you’re like most Christian women in confusing and painful marriages, you’ve tried everything.
You’ve read the books, the blogs, the sarcastic memes, and the devotionals.
You’ve paid for counseling, training, seminars, and conferences.
You’ve asked for advice from other couples, your parents, your pastors, friends.
You’ve prayed and read your Bible and journaled, cried, and begged.
But your marriage never changes. Or it just gets worse.
So what’s the REAL ANSWER? What’s THE ONE THING YOU’RE MISSING?
It’s simple. It’s free. It’s right in front of you.
Do you picture yourself and your children begging on the streets if you dare to leave?
Are you overwhelmed at the thought of making ends meet as a single mom?
Do you wonder how you’ll pay for groceries, much less legal fees, if you escape?
One of the biggest fears for women in abusive marriages is that they won’t survive financially.
And it’s a fear based on a lot of truth.
But it’s not the final say.
Hear from a woman who’s been there, done, and literally wrote a book on it. So don’t turn back.
When you react to your husband’s abuse, it can feel like you’re the abuser.
When he tells you how hard his childhood was, you may feel sorry for him.
When you read about personality disorders, some of the symptoms fit you.
When you read about mental illness, the symptoms also fit him.
Which makes you wonder…
If your husband was abused, is it really fair to hold his harmful behavior against him?
If he has unresolved trauma or a personality disorder, is it wrong to expect him to treat you better?
And even more confusing…
What if your C-PTSD sometimes mimics a personality disorder?
What if your traumatic responses seem abusive?
