Pastors and religious leaders, I sat in church today and heard a message that struck fear and despair in the hearts of one hundred abuse victims sitting in that room. Here’s why.
What kind of women do abusive men go for? Contrary to what you might think, women who become abuse targets are targeted for some pretty incredible strengths. Here’s how it works.
Emotional abuse is particularly rampant because it flies under the radar and is hard to prove. Women in emotionally abusive relationships can be significantly affected by a simple glance, gesture, or slight change in the tone of voice of her abuser—things that would never be noticed by anyone standing near. Even if you did point it out, others wouldn’t believe it was abusive, not knowing the inside, chronic history of the couple.
When you’ve got a woman of faith trapped for several years in an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage, you’ve got all the ingredients for a classic case of C-PTSD. Here’s why.
The only way out of hell is up a very hot ladder, and you need to be EMPOWERED to climb that ladder and get out. You need to be PREPARED with a working knowledge of every single hot rung you will have to endure on your way up and out.
Let’s pretend for a minute that your relationship is like a game of tennis. Can you visualize you and your partner on the tennis court? The game has just begun, and the ball is going back and forth. Back and forth.
It’s like my husband spent our marriage throwing gasoline all over our home. Nobody could see it, but I could smell the fumes. They threatened to suffocate me. I knew that if I lit a match to illuminate the truth about the gasoline, I would burn our home down. I was warned, in so many words, never to light that match.
Emotional abuse is a covert, dehumanizing, psychological and spiritual reframing of reality that causes deep damage to the core of a person. Survivors of emotional abuse often struggle with depression, complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder, muscular pain, vascular problems, brain fog, sleep disorders, and more. As long as you continue to live in the poisonous atmosphere of emotional abuse, you may wrestle with the ability to breathe the clean air of Truth and find the freedom and joy of living as the person God created you to be.
There is one key component of every single emotionally destructive relationship. If this one thing is present in your relationship, you are being emotionally abused. Period.