Have you ever been talked over in a meeting, assigned work with no warning, or gotten that oh-so-lovely “Can you just help with this one little thing?” at 4:59 p.m.?
In this episode, I’m joined by Stacey, Diana, Marie, and Grace, all divorced Christian women who are navigating life post-divorce in the workplace. We’re diving deep into how to show up for yourself professionally without selling your soul or compromising your values.
What We Talked About:
- How divorce made us braver and more assertive at work
- Real-life stories of standing up to toxic bosses and winning (even if your hands are shaking the whole time)
- Tips for dealing with mansplaining, micromanagers, and Monday meetings
- Knowing when to speak up and when to let it go Elsa-style
- Creating unshakeable boundaries around your time, energy, and sanity
- How trauma triggers show up in the office, and how we’ve learned to manage them
- Why being a “dependable worker” doesn’t mean being everyone’s doormat
- Using body language and presence to command respect
- The sacred art of saying “no” without apologizing or over-explaining
- Gossip: How to shut it down without becoming the HR police
Related Resources:
- Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women who are ready to evolve into the next version of themselves. A version that is more confident, more regulated, and more at peace about all of life.
- Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
- Connect with Marie on her blog, Live Like it Matters, and website, Spiritual Direction with Marie.
- Connect with Stacey and find all her resources on her Linktree.
- Check out Diana’s podcast, The Renew Your Mind Podcast.
- Add Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy, Dare to Lead by Brené Brown, and Rich Girl Nation by Katie Gatti Tassin to your library.
- Check out Toastmasters.
Article: How Divorced Christian Women Can Set Boundaries and Command Respect at Work (Without Apologizing for It)
Let’s talk about something that hits a little too close to home for many of us: navigating professional relationships after divorce when you’re a Christian woman.
And yes, I said after divorce, because we’re allowed to talk about that now. You’ve already jumped through flaming hoops emotionally, spiritually, and probably legally. The last thing you need is to feel like you’re starting from zero in your professional life too.
What if you’re starting from power?
I recently had a conversation on the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast with Grace, Diana, Stacey, and Marie—four divorced Christian women who are walking the tightrope of professionalism, people-pleasing detox, and post-trauma growth. The theme? Boundaries. Confidence. And being done with pretending to be okay with workplace nonsense.
Let’s dig in, shall we?
How Does Divorce Actually Make You Braver at Work?
Several of the women shared how their divorce wasn’t just a personal earthquake. It was also the catalyst for professional boldness.
Take Stacey, for example. She stood up to a corporate boss who wanted her to fudge performance ratings for her team. Her response? “If you feel you need to change my rating, do what you need to do.” And then she sat there shaking, but standing strong.
Did she get fired? Nope. The boss called her back five minutes later and told her she respected her.
Ladies, listen: When you stop tolerating dysfunction in your personal life, you stop tolerating it at work too.
Who Told You It’s Your Job to Clean Up Everyone’s Mess?
Marie shared how, five months post-divorce, she walked away from a secure job with no safety net except her own clarity. Clarity, by the way, is a side effect of not being gaslit anymore. She left without a backup plan, except a deep knowing that she didn’t want to carry other people’s expectations anymore. Been there?
Grace, another powerhouse CPA, talked about learning to say, “Can I get back to you on that?” instead of giving an automatic yes. Baby steps, y’all. “No” is a complete sentence. “Later” is also a boundary.
What Do You Do When Your Boss Is a Narcissist and Your Colleague Is a Mansplainer?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever had your idea repeated by a male colleague 15 minutes later, and then he got credit for it.
We talked about how to call it out without burning the building down. One strategy? Wrapping words around the moment. Stacey offered, “Thanks for bringing up that comment I made earlier. Let’s expand on it now that it’s gaining traction.”
Translation: I see you. I said it first. Let’s not play.
We also discussed the beautiful and underused power of letting toxic coworkers self-destruct without your help. Sometimes the best “pushback” is silence, distance, and well-timed coffee breaks.
Is It a Trigger, or Is It Just More Gaslighting?
Let’s be real: workplace interactions can feel like emotional minefields when you’ve been through trauma.
Marie shared about being publicly criticized by a superior until she calmly stood her ground. After that? The bullying stopped. Grace talked about resisting the urge to fawn or apologize when faced with a manipulative situation. And the kicker? She stayed calm, held to her values, and didn’t take the bait.
Learning to identify our emotional triggers doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort. It means recognizing manipulation for what it is and choosing not to play the old game.
Aren’t Boundaries the Most Professional Thing You Can Bring to Work?
Let’s talk logistics. Actual, practical boundaries.
Use your calendar like it’s your sword and shield. Stacey schedules prep time, reflection time, and—gasp—downtime. Revolutionary, right?
Take your work email off your phone. Marie has never had hers on there, and she’s still somehow employed. Magic.
Practice staying calm in chaos. (Especially helpful if your childhood and marriage trained you in chaos management. Now we get to use it for good.)
Should You Really Be Sharing That Personal Story at Work?
You don’t owe your coworkers your story. You don’t have to prove you’re “over it.” You don’t have to explain why you’re divorced. And if someone’s whispering in the break room? You’re not the gossip police, but you can walk away with your dignity intact.
Marie offered the best rule of thumb: “Only share what you’re okay with the whole world knowing.” Gossip can’t live where there’s no oxygen.
And if you do want to say something that shuts it down without sounding like your church lady aunt, try Diana’s line: “This doesn’t sound like it’s any of my business.” Then sip your coffee and walk away like the queen you are.
Why Are Women Still Afraid to Ask for More Money?
Negotiating your salary as a woman, especially in Christian circles, feels like asking to be called “high maintenance.” Do it anyway.
Stacey reminded us: salary is always a starting point, not a verdict. Men negotiate 80–90% of the time. Women? Only 40–60%. Which means we’re literally paying for our fear of being “too much.”
Tip: Practice it. Script it out. Role-play with your dog. Whatever it takes. But DO. THE. ASK.
Is Confidence Something You’re Born With, or Something You Rebuild?
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you rebuild like a muscle after people have spent years trying to dismantle it.
Marie swears by power poses (shoutout to Amy Cuddy). Grace reminded us that calm voices carry power, especially on Zoom. (Pro tip: turn your mic up and your emotional volume down. You’ll come across as the badass professional you are.)
Can Work Be More Than Just a Paycheck? Could It Be a Platform for Your Healing?
You are no longer the woman who apologizes for her existence.
You are no longer the woman who says yes to everything and then cries in the bathroom.
You are no longer the woman who lets people talk over her and then wonders if she’s just “too sensitive.”
You are a grown-ass woman who has walked through the fire, rebuilt herself with her own two hands, and now sits at the conference table like she owns it, because in many ways, she does.
So own your voice. Set those boundaries. Raise your rates. Walk away from gossip. Stand tall. Sit up straight. And never, ever let your job define your worth.
You already know who you are. Now show them. And then come work with me and hundreds of other badass divorced Christian women in Flying Higher.
XOXO,
Natalie
