What if everything you’ve been told about retirement is wrong—especially after divorce?

In this episode, Natalie and Diana explore why the traditional retirement model might actually be keeping you stuck in fear and financial anxiety. You’ll discover how retirement is just a cultural construct from 1889 that may not serve your post-divorce life at all—and what to do instead.

Key Takeaways:

• Why divorced women might actually have a strategic advantage when it comes to financial freedom (this will surprise you!)
• What you’re really seeking isn’t retirement—it’s something far more attainable starting TODAY
• The shocking math behind traditional retirement that explains why you feel so much pressure
• How working longer could actually reduce your stress and create MORE freedom (not less!)
• The powerful question that replaces “Will I have enough money?” and changes everything
• Why your most valuable asset has nothing to do with your 401(k)
• The “portfolio life” concept that gives you options instead of leaving you dependent on one income source

Related resources:

• Smart Passive Income Podcast Episode 897 with Derek Coburn
• Book: “Let’s Retire Retirement” by Derek Coburn
• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This FREE 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace.
• Flying Higher is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence in their relationships, emotional management, decision making, and self-development. Join us for live classes, coaching, Bible study, and book studies every month. Plus access to a huge library of education and coaching resources. Only $590 for an entire year of learning how to be remarkable in every way! 
• Be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind! 

Article: Retiring the Idea of Retirement After Divorce

Why Does Traditional Retirement Planning Fail Divorced Women?

When I got divorced, one of the biggest sources of anxiety was looking at my retirement situation. I was essentially starting from scratch in my 50s.

This is the reality for so many divorced Christian women, especially those who spent their productive decades as stay-at-home moms while their husbands built careers and increased their incomes. The traditional retirement model assumes you’ll work for 30 to 40 years, save consistently, and then retire at 65 with enough money to last another 25 to 30 years. But that model falls apart completely when you’re starting over after divorce.

Where Did the Idea of Retiring at 65 Come From?

Here’s something that surprised me: retirement is a relatively modern concept. It originated in 1889 in Germany when Chancellor Otto von Bismarck introduced a social plan providing benefits at age 70. FDR later lowered this to 65 when he established Social Security in 1935.

But here’s the problem: life expectancy has increased dramatically since then. The average life expectancy now is 78, and if you make it to 65, your chances of living to 90 are very high. That means if you retire at 65, you need your money to last 25 to 30 years without working. For most people, especially divorced women rebuilding their finances, this simply isn’t realistic.

What Are You Really Seeking When You Think About Retirement?

When people say they can’t wait to retire, they’re usually not talking about a specific age. They’re talking about feelings and experiences. They want their time to belong to them. They’re tired of being on someone else’s clock. They want to feel like their life is their own again.

But those desires aren’t age-dependent. They’re agency-dependent. We don’t retire into freedom. We can make choices starting today to live into freedom today.

As Diana pointed out in our conversation, retirement is just another cultural construct, like so many others we follow without questioning. What if we could think completely differently about this?

How Can You Balance Saving for the Future While Living Today?

One of the biggest shifts I’ve made is refusing to defer all joy and meaningful experiences until some distant retirement that may never come. I’m not guaranteed tomorrow, but I do have today.

This doesn’t mean spending recklessly or ignoring retirement savings. I work with a financial planner who helps me automate retirement contributions off the top of my paycheck. But with what’s left, I budget for experiences that matter now.

Diana shared a powerful example of taking a chunk of money that could have gone into her SEP IRA and instead taking her daughter to Disney World. She considers it the best spend of those thousands of dollars. These aren’t frivolous choices. They’re intentional investments in joy and connection today.

Do Divorced Women Actually Have an Advantage in Retirement Planning?

This might sound counterintuitive, but divorced women who’ve had their retirement plans disrupted might actually have an edge with this new model. Instead of being locked into a 30-year waiting game, we have the opportunity to reframe loss as liberation.

Rather than thinking “I have to rebuild a nest egg,” we can think “I’m going to build income streams.” The old model says accumulate a big pile of money. The new model says create multiple small revenue sources that can scale up or down as needed.

Your most valuable asset isn’t your 401k. It’s your ability to generate income. Skills like project management, negotiation, and resilience that you developed managing a household have real market value. What problems can you solve for other people? What income streams can you create that improve over time?

What Questions Should You Be Asking Instead?

Instead of asking “Will I have enough money to stop working?” try asking “How do I want to experience joy in my life, and how does working and retirement assist with that?”

Or ask yourself: “Am I going to have enough courage to keep living a life of meaning and purpose no matter what life throws me?”

These questions open up possibilities rather than creating pressure. They invite us to think creatively about our futures instead of following a blueprint that was never designed for us in the first place.

Listen to this entire episode above, and then come work with me and hundreds of other divorced Christian women in Flying Higher, and be sure to check out Diana’s podcast, Renew Your Mind!