Friend, in this episode, I sat down with five fantastic divorced Christian women—Diana, Loretta, Wendy, Jillian, and Lisa—to talk about one of the most tender and tricky parts of post-divorce life: friendships.

If you’ve ever wondered, Who do I tell? How much should I say? Why did some friends disappear while others showed up unexpectedly? you are not alone. We talk through all of that.

Each of these women brings her own beautiful perspective and personal experiences, from crafting “scripts” to explain their divorce with dignity and clarity, to grieving the loss of church community, to learning how to trust again, and how to trust their own bodies and intuition.

We also explore:

• How to identify emotionally safe friends
• Why “mutual friends” may or may not stick around
• What happens when church culture shifts after your divorce
• Red flags that say: “Maybe this isn’t my person”
• Why learning to be a good friend to yourself might be the most important thing you do

And we don’t stop there. These women also share how they’re supporting their families as single moms—running businesses, teaching, coaching, and creating meaningful impact in the world. 

If you’re feeling isolated or unsure how to rebuild your social world, I hope this conversation reminds you of your power, your worth, and your ability to find connection again. You are not alone, and your story isn’t over.

Journal Questions:

1. What kinds of friendships am I craving now—and how are those different from the ones I had during my marriage? Am I giving myself permission to pursue those?

2. How have I navigated sharing my divorce story with others? What version of that story feels both true and honoring of my healing?

3. Am I trying to hold on to friendships that no longer align with who I am becoming? What would it feel like to release those with grace?

4. When was the last time I felt fully seen, heard, and accepted in a friendship? What qualities did that friend bring into the relationship—and do I model those too?

5. How do I feel when I’m around certain people—safe, energized, drained, judged, small? What is my body telling me about emotional safety?

Related Resources:

• Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my live mentorship program for Christian women pursuing increased confidence, emotional management, relational health and empowered self-development.
• Feel like a hot mess after divorce? This 5-Day Workshop will teach you a mind-shift tool to help you learn a powerful way to manage your thoughts and emotions in order to navigate adult decisions with clarity and peace. 
• Go listen to Diana’s podcast, The Renew Your Mind Podcast.
• Contact Loretta at [email protected] 
• Listen to Jillian’s podcast, The Hungry for Love Podcast.
• Connect with Lisa at her Linktree.
• Check out Wendy’s art on her Instagram.

Article: How I Rebuilt My Friendships After Divorce as a Christian Woman (Without Selling My Soul)

Let’s get one thing straight right out of the gate: divorce is hard. Friendships after divorce? Sometimes even harder. Especially when you’re a Christian woman trying to figure out who’s safe, who’s just nosy, and who’s suddenly gone MIA faster than your ex’s integrity during marriage counseling.

In Episode 5 of the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, I invited five incredible women—Diana, Loretta, Wendy, Lisa, and Jillian—to share how they navigated friendship after divorce. Spoiler alert: it’s complicated. But also hopeful. And yes, funny. Because what else do you do when someone leaves a Facebook anniversary post after you’ve already filed for divorce?

Let’s dive in.

The Script That Saved Me from Oversharing (and Losing My Mind)

If you’re freshly divorced and wondering how to tell your friends without launching into a full TED Talk on your ex’s sins, I feel you.

I personally loved Diana’s approach. She created a one-sentence script. Yep, one sentence. It was honest, high-level, and free of bloodshed. Something like: “While our marriage had good in it, my husband persisted in destructive behaviors that made the relationship unsustainable.”

Clean. Truthful. No unpaid emotional labor. And the best part? People respected it. Most didn’t even ask follow-up questions, because let’s be honest, if someone says they’re in deep pain and your first instinct is to dig for details, maybe you’re not friend-of-the-year material.

I also loved what Lisa said: she opened with how God had been leading her the whole way. That simple nod to the divine defused all the “But did you pray about it?” comments before they even left the station.

The Disappearing Acts and Divine Appointments

Raise your hand if someone you thought would show up with tissues and prayer instead pulled a Houdini. Yep, me too. And the women on the podcast? Same.

But here’s the beautiful flip side: God has a way of sending the right people at the exact right time. Loretta had a friend (a soccer mom acquaintance, no less) reach out and say, “Hey, are you okay?” That one check-in led to a cascade of support, resources, and even connections to other divorced Christian women who became her lifeline.

The irony? It’s often the people on the outskirts of our lives who step in and become our inner circle. And sometimes it’s the church “besties” who quietly back away into the holy mist.

When Church Friends Aren’t Really Friends

If your social circle was mostly church-based like mine was, you might’ve had that painful epiphany: “Wait… were we friends because we actually clicked, or because we were forced into the same small group every Wednesday night?”

Yeah. That.

As I processed my divorce, I realized that some of those “ride or die” ladies were more like “ride… until you get divorced, and then ghost.” But you know what? That’s okay. I needed to find real friends. People who saw me, not just the role I played in my ex-marriage or their Bible study.

And listen, I still believe in church. Some of the women in our discussion found new church homes where they were welcomed with open arms. Lisa shared how her new pastor not only accepted her story, he actually offered her deep compassion (cue the ugly crying in the back row). Jillian found a church filled with other “church-hurt” survivors, and Wendy found her “church” in our Sunday morning Flying Higher Bible study. No shame. No pressure. Just support.

The Mutual Friends Dilemma

Mutual friends are a weird beast. Some are Switzerland: neutral, mature, and respectful. Others are like that one gossipy aunt who can’t help but stir the pot.

My rule of thumb? I don’t expect people to pick sides. But I do pay attention to who keeps treating me like a full human being and who treats me like I’m contagious.

Jillian had a beautiful example: mutual friends who kindly said, “We’re inviting both of you. Come if you’d like.” Respectful. Mature. No weird energy. She chose to show up. He didn’t. The world didn’t end. Amen.

The Red Flags I Now Refuse to Ignore

Let’s talk red flags, shall we? Because once you survive a toxic marriage, your BS radar becomes very fine-tuned.

Here are a few I look out for:

• Anyone who opens with “You should…” (Instant nope.)
• Friends who talk behind other people’s backs (because guess who’s next?)
• People who challenge me for not texting back in 0.2 seconds 
• The martyr friends who always need to be “served” and never reciprocate
• Friends who try to guilt me with “God’s will” when I’ve already consulted the actual God

Let me say this loud for the women in the back: you don’t have to justify your healing to anyone. And if a friend makes you feel like you do, they’re not a friend. They’re an assignment. And last I checked, we’re not in a group project.

Becoming My Own Best Friend

This one’s not cute. It’s not Instagrammable. But it’s the foundation of everything: I became my own best friend.

Before I could rebuild my friendships, I had to rebuild my relationship with me. I started talking to myself with kindness (and yeah, sometimes sass). I learned how to show up for myself. To say, “Hey, you did good today.” Or, “Okay, that was a trainwreck, but I still love you.”

Because when you start treating yourself like someone worthy of love, you stop settling for half-hearted friendships and emotional freeloaders.

There’s an Abundance of Friends. You Just Haven’t Met Them Yet

Diana reminded us that friendship isn’t a scarcity game. There are plenty of amazing women out there who would love to know you. Yes, you, messy healing and all.

You may meet them online (hello, Flying Higher ladies). You may meet them in a random church 10 miles away. You may meet them at a soccer game while both of your kids are refusing to wear shin guards.

Wherever you meet them, don’t panic if it doesn’t happen right away. Take your time. Choose wisely. And remember: you are worthy of reciprocal, joyful, soul-nourishing friendships.

Even if you’ve been burned before. Even if you still feel lonely sometimes.

Want a space where you don’t have to explain yourself?

Come join us in Flying Higher, a private, faith-supportive community of divorced Christian women healing and rising stronger together.

Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve to fly.

XOXO,

Natalie