Today we welcome back Arizona family law attorney Wendy Hernandez to celebrate the release of her brand new book, Legally Ending Love, and to walk us through exactly what every woman needs to know before they file for divorce. 

(Psst! When you buy her book THIS WEEK ONLY, you get a bunch of amazing free bonus resources, including a Discovery Planner, a Property and Debt Inventory worksheet, and a Free Legal-Ease Glossary – 82 family court terms in plain English, plus a free workbook. Just buy her book on Amazon – and then go to her website HERE to upload your receipt. 

Key Takeaways:

• There’s a specific category of “text and email mistakes” that show up as exhibits at trial. What are you saying right now that could be used against you later?
• One new law passed this year changed what counts as proof of abuse in family court. Does your state recognize it yet?
• Attorneys use a term for the spouse who controls the money. What’s it called, and what does it mean for your case if that’s not you?
• Appeals don’t work the way most women assume. Find out what actually has to happen the first time around, because there’s no do-over.
• Wendy shares the one word she hopes every woman feels by the time she finishes her book, and it’s not the word you’d expect.

Having tried over 1,000 cases during her twenty-seven years as a litigator, Wendy is a courtroom warrior who has tackled every type of family law matter — from divorce to child custody and everything in between. Sharing secrets learned from the country’s top law professors at the University of Notre Dame Law School and during her battles on the family law front lines, Wendy is passionate about helping not only her clients, but also those representing themselves, to feel competent, confident and comfortable in the courtroom.

• Get her brand new book: Legally Ending Love (don’t forget the bonuses this week only!)
• Explore Wendy’s YouTube Channel, Command the Courtroom.

Related Episodes:

How to Prepare for Your Custody Case

Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles: Pro Strategies from a Top Attorney

What Are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce? (And Other Questions!)

Get Today’s Free Resource:

📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.com

I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

AI generated summary of Episode 392

Natalie welcomes back Arizona family law attorney Wendy Hernandez, celebrating the release day of her new book, Legally Ending Love. Wendy explains the book grew out of her YouTube channel, Command the Courtroom, and was written to help people going through divorce or custody battles understand the legal process, whether or not they have an attorney, so they can walk in informed instead of blindsided.

They dig into several practical threads. First, the biggest mistake people make early on: sending emotional texts or emails during the grief stages of divorce (things like “I don’t need spousal support”) that later get used against them as evidence at trial. Wendy’s advice is to process those feelings anywhere except with a soon-to-be-ex.

Next, they talk through what to do when a spouse has cut off access to money entirely. Wendy walks through how attorneys can request temporary orders for attorney’s fees and living expenses while a case is pending, and explains the “in spouse” versus “out spouse” dynamic in community property states like Arizona and Minnesota, where both partners are generally entitled to half of joint assets.

They also cover a meaningful legal shift: Arizona recently passed a law expanding the definition of domestic violence to include coercive control, meaning judges can now recognize a pattern of emotional or spiritual abuse as evidence, even without documentation, if the testimony is credible. Wendy notes this is a significant win for abuse survivors, though it’s still evolving state by state.

Toward the end, Wendy busts the myth that “it’ll all just work out” if you leave things to fate or the court, arguing that trusting God doesn’t mean doing nothing, and that appeals only work from evidence already presented at trial, so showing up fully prepared the first time matters. The episode closes on an encouraging note: divorce isn’t an ending, it’s often the start of someone becoming more fully themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you protect yourself during divorce if you don’t have access to money?
You can request temporary orders through the court that specifically ask the other spouse to cover your attorney’s fees and living expenses while the case is pending. Courts have ordered the controlling spouse to pay thousands of dollars for this exact purpose, so lack of funds does not have to stop you from getting legal help.

What is coercive control in a divorce case?
Coercive control is a pattern of behavior used to dominate a partner through fear, isolation, financial restriction, or manipulation, rather than through a single physical incident. As of 2026, some states, including Arizona, have expanded their legal definition of domestic violence to formally include coercive control, allowing courts to recognize emotional and spiritual abuse as evidence.

What is the biggest legal mistake people make early in a divorce?
The most common mistake is sending emotional texts, emails, or messages during the grief stages of divorce, including statements like “I don’t need spousal support.” These messages are frequently used as evidence against the sender later in the case, so it is safest to process emotions with a therapist or support community rather than with a soon-to-be-ex-spouse.

What is a community property state, and why does it matter in divorce?
In a community property state, both spouses are generally entitled to an equal share of assets and income acquired during the marriage. This matters because a spouse who has been locked out of joint accounts may still be legally entitled to half of those funds, and courts typically do not look favorably on one spouse cutting off the other’s access entirely.

Can you present new evidence during a divorce appeal?
No. An appeal is based only on evidence and information that was already presented during the original trial. New evidence discovered after the fact generally cannot be introduced, which is why family law attorneys recommend presenting a complete case the first time.

What does the term “out spouse” mean in family law?
The “out spouse” refers to the partner who does not control the marital finances or hold primary earning power in the relationship, as opposed to the “in spouse,” who has financial control. This term is commonly used by attorneys when discussing financial imbalance during divorce proceedings.