Helping women of faith find hope and healing after emotional and spiritual abuse

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Episode 29 – Learning to Love the Bible Again

by | Jul 31, 2019 | Expert Interviews, Healing from Spiritual Abuse, Learning, Rebuilding, The Flying Free Podcast | 6 comments

Women of faith in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships have been bruised by Bible bombs over and over again. Religious abusers love to use the Bible as a weapon of control. As we walk through the healing process, how do we learn to love the Bible again? Our guest today is Stacey Wynn, a high powered career woman and abuse survivor who left the corporate world to go to seminary and help other survivors. She’s going to teach us how to take back the Word of God and use it as a healing tool, the way it was intended.

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  1. Jimmie

    Triggered? Oh yeah. When I read it, when I hear it, when I see it on plaque in a store. All of the above. (But it’s getting WAY better. Time does heal, ladies!)

    What’s possibly worse is when your abusive ex is/was a minister. That’s my case, and for a long time, when I heard certain verses, I would hear them in his voice even. (Blech.) One thing that helped a lot for me was to switch denominations to one where there’s less “Christian-ese” and use a totally different Bible translation that doesn’t sound Bible-y (The Message).

    I am fortunate to live in an urban area where there’s a good church option for folks like me. I know in many rural areas this is impossible to find.

    I now understand why folks stop going to church. I was able to separate my religious abuse from who God is. But I can see why many folks cannot.

    This is a wonderful podcast topic. I think that remembering the Bible (and God) is for YOU as a person and not just for bible studies organized by a church. You can savor it independently of anyone’s interpretation. Ignore the crap you were told, and just soak in it purely for yourself w/o formal group studies, books, etc.

  2. Debs

    Thankyou so much for this. Hearing this podcast has been so healing, being able to have a community where JESUS IS means so much. The clarity, love and grace that you convey here is just so the opposite of the messages we’re fed as women of faith going through the trauma of abuse, this really is hearing truth to be set free. Thankyou for inspiration, education and encouragement to keep The Bible alive as it was intended not to rob us of life but to give us life. I pray every woman hearing this amazing and beautiful podcast will be blessed and release will come. Awesome what God is doing here, thankyou again so much.

    • Stacey Wynn

      I’m so thankful for your feedback and your pursuit of freedom. Thank you!

  3. Boldly walking away

    As I read your comment, a common phrase came to mind: TRUST THE PROCESS. And while you’re at it, TRUST YOURSELF. I know, I know…”trust in the Lord” and “lean not on your own understanding” and all those verses that are manipulated to spiritually abuse and lead us to believe we should absolutely NEVER have thoughts of our own.
    Here’s what I KNOW THAT I KNOW (and lemme tell ya, I’ve learned it ONE. GRUELING. STEP. AT. A. TIME.): If you truly want to hear the voice of God–the God who sees you, adores you, and wants an authentic relationship with you–you’ve gotta do some significant filtration. This may look like listening to Pink (done it). This may look like pacing your floor and speaking aloud EXACTLY why you have no interest in anything anyone has to say about God or you or anything in between (done it). It might look like throwing away books on your shelf with twisted messages about women and marriage that have led you down a victim’s path (DONE IT). It may look like cursing and ranting and otherwise shutting down anyone or anything that tells you what you should be doing (oh girl have I DONE. IT.).
    Trust the process, and trust yourself. God is ever-present and waits for you.

  4. Michelle

    Thank you for this! I was just talking to my therapist (he’s a Christian but a licensed therapist) and I told him I just can’t read my bible and let’s just forget about church. I can’t handle the fake people or even someone telling me how to view the Bible. But I’m completely indifferent to God. I’m not angry or bitter but I also don’t care. But it bothers me that I just feel so numb. My problems stem from abusive church leaders and spiritual abuse. I just don’t even want to read a single verse. So my therapist suggested I read the shack, which I’m doing. He thought maybe it would inspire some feelings again. He mentioned podcasts too but I am just so tired of people telling me what God thinks. So today this popped up on my facebook feed and I listened to the entire thing (very out of character for me!). My biggest thing is that I just don’t know what to believe anymore and I don’t want anyone to tell me what to believe. I want it to be my choice. Listening to this today helped. Maybe I’ll try those translations and see if it helps. But like you, getting hives in church…I feel that way about the Bible. So I hope God is bigger than just the Bible and able to work around my fear and anxiety when it comes to reading scripture.

    I found the discussion about Deborah in the Bible rather intriguing. Makes sense since MacArthur is an opinionated ass.

    • Natalie Hoffman

      Lol. I’ve just started listening to the Almost Heretical podcast. You need to start at the beginning to follow the whole line of thinking, but it is rocking my world. You may enjoy checking that one out as well. You are definitely not alone in your distaste for abusive beliefs. We need to take back the Bible and see it for what it is. It’s not what we thought it was. It’s so much better.


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