In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with someone who’s not here to play nice with toxic church culture—Dr. Andrew Bauman. He’s a licensed mental health counselor, a truth-teller, and the author of Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.

If you’ve ever sat in a church pew feeling invisible… silenced… or like it was your job to hold everything together, this conversation was made for you.

Dr. Bauman gets it. He grew up as a pastor’s kid tangled in trauma, became a pastor himself while battling hidden struggles, and eventually found his way to becoming an outspoken advocate for women in faith spaces.

Here’s what we unpack together:

• The disturbing stats from his research with over 2,800 women—and why we can’t keep sweeping this under the rug
• What actually makes a church safe
• How “weaponized forgiveness” and distorted theology keep survivors stuck
• Practical, hope-filled steps for church leaders and everyday members who want to build spaces where people are truly seen and safe

But this isn’t just a takedown of the broken systems—it’s a rising up moment. It’s a call to reclaim your voice, your body, your knowing.

Related Resources: 

• Read Dr. Bauman’s newest book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.
• Connect with Dr. Bauman on Facebook.
• Check out Dr. Bauman’s blog. 
• Like what you heard today? Listen to Episode 41 and Episode 164 of the Flying Free Podcast with Dr. Andrew Bauman, and then head over to Episode 45 and Episode 279 to hear my interviews with his wife, Christy Bauman. 

Article: What If Church Wasn’t a Safe Place?

You walk into your church on a Sunday morning with your Bible in hand and a prayer in your heart. But instead of peace, you feel tension. You sense it in the way certain voices dominate from the front. In the way women are thanked for baking casseroles, but never asked to lead. In the way you’re told to forgive, submit, and stay silent when abuse happens—especially if the abuser is wearing a tie and preaching from a pulpit.

You wonder, “Is this normal? Or am I crazy?”

Let me say this clearly: you are not crazy. You’re waking up. 

In a recent conversation with Dr. Andrew Bauman on the Flying Free Podcast, we tackled this very issue. His new book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities, is shaking tables—and for good reason.

Let’s dive into what makes a church safe (or not) and how we can begin reclaiming sacred spaces for healing, truth, and shared power.

When “Biblical” Is Used as a Muzzle

Many women of faith have been taught that biblical womanhood means silence, submission, and sacrifice—especially in marriage or church leadership. But here’s what that often looks like in practice:

• Men in leadership, women making sandwiches.
• Abuse covered with a spiritual Band-Aid labeled “forgiveness.”
• Power hoarded, not shared.
• Stories of harm minimized, questioned, or outright ignored.

Dr. Bauman calls this what it is: spiritual abuse and misogyny wrapped in religious language. And he should know—he’s lived it from both sides. As a former pastor battling a pornography addiction while preaching purity culture, he intimately understands how unchecked power and unprocessed shame create systems that crush women.

But let’s not make this about one man’s failure. Let’s talk about an entire system that lets women suffer while praising the very structures that silence them.

Sexism in the Sanctuary

In Dr. Bauman’s five-year study of over 2,800 women in church leadership, the statistics were staggering:

• 82% of women believed sexism played a role in their church experiences.
• 77.9% said their ministry opportunities were limited because of their gender.
• Over one-third reported experiencing sexual harassment or misconduct.

And yet, many churches insist there’s “no problem.” They claim to “honor” women while barring them from decision-making tables. They preach modesty to teenage girls while ignoring the predatory comments of adult men. They hand out “grace” to abusers and demand silence from survivors.

That’s not grace. That’s cheap grace—the kind that protects reputations instead of people.

How Churches Can Actually Be Safe

A church isn’t safe just because it says it is. A safe church is built on:

1. Leaders Who Do Their Own Work

You can’t guide others to healing if you haven’t faced your own darkness. Leaders must confront their hidden addictions, shame, and misogynistic programming—not bury them beneath theology.

2. Shared Power

A safe church includes women at the table. Not as token representatives, but as full image-bearers of God with authority, voice, and wisdom. Jesus didn’t hoard power. Why do our churches?

3. Truth-Telling, Not Image-Managing

Churches must prioritize protecting people over preserving reputation. That means believing women. Calling abuse what it is. And refusing to redefine rape as “an affair.”

4. The Right Conversations

How often does your church talk about domestic violence? Sexual abuse? Emotional trauma? If these are the daily realities of one in three women, why are we still whispering? A safe church gets loud about the things that matter.

What Can YOU Do?

Even if you’re not on a leadership team, your voice matters. Here’s how you can help build safety in your spiritual community:

• Start the conversation. Name the dynamics you see. Speak up when something feels off—even when your voice shakes.
  
• Trust your gut. Your intuition isn’t “rebellious”—it’s divine. God lives in your body. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
  
• Find your people. If your local church isn’t safe, find community online. There are women walking this road with you—wise, brave, and no longer silent.

Grace and Accountability Can—and Must—Coexist

One of the biggest lies women are told in the church is that grace means turning the other cheek forever. That real Christians don’t get angry, even when they’re betrayed. That forgiveness is more important than justice.

Let me be clear: forgiveness does not require silence. Grace does not mean access. And Jesus never protected abusers to keep the peace.

If grace is being used to silence you, invalidate your pain, or force you into proximity with your perpetrator—that is not grace. That’s spiritual bypassing. And it causes more harm.

A healthy church holds space for righteous anger. It honors grief. It names injustice. And it walks with the brokenhearted—not over them.

You Deserve a Safe Church

If you’ve ever felt erased, blamed, or belittled in a church pew—you’re not overreacting. You’re waking up.

You were made in the image of a God who shares power, who sees your tears, and who never called you to be small so others could feel big.

You deserve to be safe. And if your church isn’t making space for your full humanity, it’s time to ask: is this really the Body of Christ, or just a boys’ club with a cross on the wall?

Let’s Change the Story

You don’t have to stay silent. You don’t have to stay small. 

We are raising our voices together, and with each brave word spoken, we’re rewriting what it means to be the Church.

It starts with truth. It grows with courage. And it lives in you.

Ready to reclaim your voice and your faith? The Flying Free Kaleidoscope was made for you.

The Kaleidoscope is our member-only hub of on-demand courses, group coaching sessions, and a private community that addresses the real issues women of faith face:

Courses like:

• Healing Your Relationship with God
• Bible Flippers: Untwisting Verses Used to Manipulate Women
• Spiritual Abuse Recovery

With compassionate, faith-based teaching, practical tools, and a community of supportive survivors, you’ll find the clarity and courage you’ve been craving. Join the Flying Free Kaleidoscope and get immediate access to every course—plus a vast library of coaching sessions, Q&A sessions, Expert Workshops, and our thriving private community of women walking the same journey of healing and freedom.