Survivor Identity Archives

Changing Your Role (Chapter Eight of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage) Part Two [Episode 147]

November 30, 2021

If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love.

You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom.

You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage.

You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you.

But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction.

So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you.

If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you.

If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU.

Dealing with Difficult People During the Holidays [Episode 145]

November 16, 2021

The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider.

They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all you never had. Especially in relationships.

Maybe they used to be a time of excitement and joy, but now you only feel dread and loneliness and grief.

If you find yourself wishing you could sleep until January comes around, or your eyes well up whenever you imagine how miserable these “special” days will be, gather round.

This episode is a warm blanket snuggled around your shoulders, a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, and a sweet gift-wrapped dose of hope from me…to you.

Finding Joy Even When Life Hurts [Episode 138]

September 28, 2021

If your life is already a tough pill to swallow, taking more medicine is the last thing you want to do. Gross.

But what if it’s the “best medicine”? The type that makes you laugh-cry, hold your sides, and snort with glee.

Laughter and joy and humor can transform the darkest days, the bleakest seasons, and the hardest nights.

And no matter what you’ve been through, you really can experience their life-giving power.

I talk with prolific laugher, Sara Richmond, about how.

Does God Love You Less Because Your Marriage Is Bad? [Episode 137]

September 21, 2021

If your child was starving and asked you for bread, would you make her eat from a dumpster?

If your child was dying of thirst and asked for water, would you pour sand down his throat?

Are you that child? Starving for safety. And love. And honesty. And help. And tenderness. And dying a little more each day in their absence and their opposites.

So why doesn’t God treat you like a daughter? Why does he give food and drink and good husbands and happy families to some but to you…only pain?

If these questions keep you up at night, this episode is for you.

How Do I Make an Exit Plan? [Episode 136]

September 14, 2021

Getting out of an abusive marriage can seem impossible. Especially when it comes to the money aspect. As in…where will you get it? How will you reenter (or start in) the work force? How are you going to add MORE to your already overflowing plate?

And those emotions. The big ones that feel like a thick sludge up to your hips or a pile of wet blankets on top of you or a deep, aching hollow in your chest. How do you deal with those?

Dear one, it’s not easy, but it is simple.

I’ve traveled this way before—alone and with others. So let me share my road map.

What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part Two [Episode 134]

August 31, 2021

Was there a day when you realized he was doing it all on purpose?

After all your tears, your pleading, and explanations, there was no way you could keep excusing his behavior.

His explanations didn’t fly.

You knew you didn’t hold the blame.

Maybe he finally, actually admitted it.

As painful as that realization is, it’s also your secret weapon—knowledge that can empower you.

Sound crazy? In Part 2 of 2, What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You, I’ll prove it.

Category: Survivor Identity