There was once a Christian woman who got married. Shortly after her wedding day, she was attacked by her husband. He took her dignity and reputation, shamed her, blamed her, treated her like his property, and left her half-dead, alone in her home.
The whole “God Hates Divorce” mantra is just that, a modern day catch phrase often used to keep women stuck in destructive marriages.
Anger provides the energy necessary to fight for life sometimes. It can be the fuel that inspires courage and initiative to right wrongs, stand up for the weak, and defend the helpless.
Can you have a healthy relationship where there is lying, covering up, pretending, overlooking, and ignoring? Does that foster intimacy? Of course not. Healthy relationships are grown in the soil of vulnerability and safety. When two people are open and honest, they can get close and experience authentic acceptance and love. Anything less is dysfunctional in some way.
Someone who is truly sorry will not make excuses, blame you or something else, rationalize their behavior, or justify what they did. If a person is doing any of those things, they are not sorry. Period.
I used to pray my kids would grow up to do great things for God. I grew up and didn’t do anything great for God, but maybe my role was to be the MOTHER of people who did great things for God. So I prayed for that. What my kids do for God isn’t what burns in my belly anymore.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
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