Natalie Collins, a Gender Justice Specialist from the UK, talks about how we take back our lives from abuse as well as from patriarchal teachings that keep us stuck in abusive environments.
A series exposing actual stupid things Christians say to women in abusive marriages. Today we look at two: “If you gave your husband more respect, he’d love you,” and “if you submitted to the authority of your church, you’d get the help you need.” Could someone hand me a bucket?
After decades of dealing with your husband’s covert control, silent treatment, criticism, passive aggressive behavior, lies, and refusal to take responsibility for anything, you have made the terrifying decision to get out, and now you are on your own. Either your husband has left (and told everyone you abusively kicked him out) or he has forced you to leave (and told everyone that you have abusively abandoned him.) The smear campaign begins even while you begin the life-long process of picking up all the pieces. You have eight kids living at home. You get to pick up their pieces too.
When you separate from an abusive partner, you find the peace that comes from not being in close proximity with emotional/spiritual abuse. However, as your to-do list grows exponentially, so your support declines. Here are some ways to cope with that.
Finding a good therapist can be a critical part of your healing journey. Not all therapists are created equal, and many are re-abusive. How do you pick a counselor? How do you end a counseling relationship when it’s going poorly?
In this episode, Rachel and I discuss the suffering wife. Is suffering one of God’s purposes in marriage? And does an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church? (A transcript is available for those who would prefer to read rather than listen.)
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
