
To Forgive Doesn’t Automatically Mean To Reconcile
Reconciliation is not a requirement. It’s the desired outcome, but it can only truly take place when four things have happened.
Reconciliation is not a requirement. It’s the desired outcome, but it can only truly take place when four things have happened.
It’s like my husband spent our marriage throwing gasoline all over our home. Nobody could see it, but I could smell the fumes. They threatened to suffocate me. I knew that if I lit a match to illuminate the truth about the gasoline, I would burn our home down. I was warned, in so many words, never to light that match.
The only way out of hell is up a very hot ladder, and you need to be EMPOWERED to climb that ladder and get out. You need to be PREPARED with a working knowledge of every single hot rung you will have to endure on your way up and out.
There are four ways to respond to emotional abuse. Which way is your usual style? Find out how you can change it up in order to experience more freedom and peace.
What if your desire to avoid hurting anyone is actually the reason you ARE hurting them? What if you’re actually hurting YOURSELF by living out this desire too?
Boundaries don’t hurt others, despite the loud voices that tell you otherwise. Healthy boundaries aren’t meant to control other people, ensure they think well of you, or make you into a prickly cactus no one can approach. They’re a way of living your truest self and your highest calling, while honoring the personhood of everyone around you.
Part of growing up into your full stature of healthy emotional adulthood involves this important work of setting boundaries.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.