strategies Archives

Interrupting the Abuse Cycle [Episode 255]

December 26, 2023

Have you ever gone around in circles during a conversation with someone with no hope of ever reaching any kind of resolution? The abuse cycle is just like that — a never-ending loop of tension, an explosion, and then most confusing of all, a really “good” part of the cycle where the abuser is seemingly kind.

But how do we get off of this chaotic merry-go-round? How do we interrupt the cycle? I’m glad you asked. As a former card-carrying member of the merry-go-round, I have a few ideas for you as you work towards interrupting the cycle.

Ten Steps Out of an Emotionally Abusive “Christian” Marriage [Episode 254]

December 19, 2023

Getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage is one of the hardest things you could ever do. But the life and healing it can bring after you have finally left the grip of abuse makes this difficult journey worth it.

In today’s episode, I want to outline a ten-step pathway if you or someone you love is considering getting out of an emotionally and spiritually abusive relationship. Come with me as we climb the ladder out of hell.

What an Emotional Abuse Survivor Needs [Episode 243]

October 3, 2023

How do we help other women who are in emotionally abusive marriages? And how can the church help these women as well?

In today’s episode, I’ll be answering a listener question about this very topic, and then I’m going to read you a letter I wrote to the church leadership at the church I was ultimately excommunicated from.

This letter highlights sixteen ways that the church can reach out and support the emotionally abused woman instead of re-abusing her, which is all too common.

Understanding Reactive Abuse and Reabuse: Interview with Annette Oltmans [Episode 214]

March 14, 2023

Annette Oltmans is here to help us better understand reactive abuse and reabuse. After having personal experience with an emotionally abusive husband and reabuse from her church and therapists, she is on a mission to help other women in similar situations. Let’s dive into the messiness surrounding reactive abuse, what we can do to protect ourselves from reabuse, and how we can heal.

Stop Waiting for Your Husband to Die So You Can Live [Episode 193]

October 18, 2022

If marriage is for life, then the only way out is death. Right?

I’ve been asked that question, or a variation of it, many times. I used to wonder that question myself.

Marriage IS for life, but not in the way you’ve been told. It’s for the sake of bringing life TO you. And when it’s destroying you instead, THERE IS A WAY OUT.

But the very Bible verses written to bring protection to abused women and rebuke to abusive men have been twisted and turned on their heads…until the words “for life” are a curse and death seems like the only escape (whether his or yours).

Allow me to right these warped words and help you fly free from your despair.

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Three [Episode 183]

August 9, 2022

Life after abuse can feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You struggle with the same things. The same thoughts. The same downward spirals. Over and over and over.

Flying Free is all about breaking out of harmful cycles, in and after abusive relationships. If you want to see this in action, Amie is a poster child for life beyond abuse: healing, thriving, and constantly growing.

Our discussion was so powerful, her story so incredible, the amazing freedom she’s experienced so inspiring, that we talked for two hours. There was no way I was going to cut a single minute from the recording, so I broke it into three episodes.

This series catalogs her thought transformations, from old to new, across the most important aspects of her life, the parts that were hit the hardest by spiritual and emotional abuse. So if you’re feeling stuck, defeated, or just plain frustrated as heck in your recovery process, this is one of the greatest freebies you’ll come across.

Tag: strategies