When Your Older Kids Side with Their Abusive Father

by | Flying Free Podcast, Grieving, Learning, Listener Questions, Waking Up | 2 comments

In today’s episode, Rachel and Natalie answer three questions from listeners:

  • How do I forgive my abuser?
  • How do I deal with the emotional pain of losing my marriage?
  • Why do my older kids side with their abusive father?

PLEASE NOTE: We had technical issues with this episode that affected the first few minutes of the podcast. It does eventually resolve, but you will notice the sound getting louder and then softer for a while. I apologize for the inconvenience. Pretend you are on a ship at sea, and the wind and waves are causing audio problems. Grab a cuppa and make it an adventure.

The Spotify Playlist I mention in the podcast is HERE. 

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When Your Older Kids Side with Their Abusive Father [Transcript]

Download episode 18 Transcript


  1. Neilie Wilson

    I have finally found very solid steps to forgiving him, without any remorse or repentance from him. I resolved to bless and not curse him. To only speak well of him, even in my head. I also decided to pray for him every time he crosses my mind. So many times daily! Prayer has healed my heart more than anything! Also I choose to show agape love and kindness at every opportunity. Since No Contact, this last choice has been very rare.
    The more my denial breaks off, the more I am facing issues to forgive. I pray for help so often in forgiving him and letting go. I pray for God to cleanse my heart from bitterness, too, because I have had enormous anger build up over the years. I also try to be patient and compassionate with myself, as much as I would be with a friend if she was in this marriage. I remember that I’ve dealt with a lot and there is no reason to pick up where he left off in judging and criticizing myself. It’s ok that it’s taking time to fully forgive. Another thing is, I did a word study on justice and learned that God’s way of justice is restoration and healing and wholeness for me and for him both. I remind myself every day that vengeance is His not mine, and He will do much better than I would with any recompense.
    I hope this can help someone.

  2. Amie

    I’m looking for the Spotify playlist.
    This episode blew my mind. The mind mapping I did with my parents and see it in my kids too.


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