Helping women of faith find hope and healing after emotional and spiritual abuse

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Episode 75: Leaning Into The Grief Of Rejection

by | Jul 15, 2020 | Emotional Abuse, Healing from Spiritual Abuse, Learn with Natalie, Rebuilding, The Flying Free Podcast | 4 comments

In this episode we talk about the challenge abuse survivors face when they begin to tell others what has happened to them.

This is where they discover the truth that many of the relationships that they had were actually built on the shaky premise that they had to capitulate to the opinions and desires of everyone around them in order to be loved and accepted by other people. 

They realize that it wasn’t just their partner who defined them in a certain way. It was a lot of the people in their life. 

What happens is that a survivor sees herself mirrored in the eyes of other people. What she sees is a distortion of who she is because other people don’t really know who she is all the time. They have their own ideas, but they don’t necessarily know who we are, especially if they are abusive themselves.

What abusive people usually do is project their own shortcomings onto other people – mostly onto their intimate partner or children. If they have weaknesses deep down in their own life they are ashamed about, in order to feel better about themselves they will project those exact weaknesses onto their target. 

Then if she is highly sensitive, she will take on the shame of their abuser. She will take it on herself and begin to see herself that way even though that is not who she really is in her core.

Click To Play:

Click Here To Read The Transcript For Episode 75!
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4 Comments

  1. Connie

    I have a request. Natalie, would you be able to write a book to give to our children to understand what happened? It would have to be short and sweet, like the new book “Trauma Mama Husband Drama” . They won’t read a big book or an article, and they won’t listen to mom, so maybe that would help?

    Reply
    • Natalie Hoffman

      Another amazing idea! I wish I had time to do it all!

      Reply
  2. Deborah

    Thank you , Natalie,

    I am so grateful to you for your wonderful ministry . I was informed of your website from a prayer partner at
    a TV ministry. when I had called in tears ,for prayer over my marriage. She was saying to me what I had been telling abused women for years and years while not seeing my own situation as abuse ,because it was so covert, but just as abusive if not more so. I am learning so much in how to be my authentic self. I can’t thank you enough for recognizing this truth and sharing with those of us who are captive birds and to set us free. I would say many times I feel like a captive bird. Now I believe I have hope. and am beginning to fly free. Praise God!
    I have been married for 44 years. I am 63 years old, It is never too late to be all that Christ wants us to be (: Thank you so much.

    Reply
    • Natalie Hoffman

      Amen! Often we help others with the very things we ourselves wrestle with. I know that has been the case with me as well. We’re all in this together. I’m so glad you found us and that our resources have been helpful for you and your own ministry to others. (((hugs)))

      Reply

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