Emotional Abuse Archives

When Your Ex-Husband Tries to Use Your Kids to Control You After the Divorce [Episode 188]

September 13, 2022

“I feel like a massive failure as a Christian and a mom. Like a puppet—and he’s pulling the strings.”

Too many women finally muster up the courage to leave their abusive husbands and face an even more painful betrayal: Their exes turn their own children against them. Lying, manipulating, bribing, even using threats in order to get the kids on their side.

It’s sickening. And it can feel like there’s no hope, no justice, and no way forward.

If this is you—wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, no matter how bad things are—I need you to stop and listen to me.

Because I’ve seen terrible cases of parental alienation turn around. I’ve lived it.

No matter what happens: Your future depends on cutting the strings of your puppeteer.

How to Know If Your Christian Dating Relationship is Toxic [Episode 185]

August 23, 2022

As terrible as being married to an abuser is, there’s something worse.

It’s getting free from your abuser, then getting remarried to another one.

For a lot of survivors, that’s their worst fear.

Can they trust themselves to identify red flags when they were taught to dismiss them for so long? Will they be able to see past the bullcrap if a potential suitor is slick and smooth but a turd of a guy underneath the facade? How can they be sure they’re choosing a safe, truly good person, not a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde?

I know that fear all too well. And I trust myself to choose good people now. (I did; I’m remarried to one.) I’ve also taught hundreds upon hundreds of women how to spot red flags in relationships.

By the time you listen to this episode, you’ll know whether your Christian dating relationship (or any dating relationship) is toxic.

What Does the Bible Say About Emotional Abuse? 18 Verses About Domestic Violence

May 9, 2022

Some conservative Christians teach that God puts women in abusive marriages so they can better glorify Him through their suffering. What kind of a god requires the suffering of women and children in order to be glorified?

Seven Predictable Things Your Emotional Abuser Does When You Set Boundaries

7 Things Your Emotionally Abusive Husband Does When You Set Boundaries

May 8, 2022

There is a predictable pattern of behavior your emotional and spiritual abuser will follow when you set healthy boundaries. When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to hold steady in the middle of the kickback.

The ways emotional abusers don't take responsibility

Different Ways Emotional Abusers Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Behavior [Episode 169]

May 3, 2022

He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how.

He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts.

He’s struggling. He can’t help it.

Do you have these thoughts about your husband?

Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken?

Didn’t think so.

I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one.

This episode comes with not one but two guarantees:

Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to.

The Worst Things People Say to Justify, Minimize, and Excuse the Abuse You’ve Experienced [Episode 168]

April 26, 2022

I have two presents for you.

One is a regift. The other is brand-spanking, hot-off-the-waffle-press new.

First, I compiled some of the best (and by “best” I mean absolute trash and worst) things people say to Christian women in abusive marriages when they seek help or divorce.

Second, I’m giving you a comeback. A burn-it-to-the-ground, shred-it-to-cheddar-cheese, drop-the-mic, break-the-wrist-and-walk-away comeback for every single one.

I know how hard it is to stand before people who attack your character, deny your reality, determine your destiny, and demand your unquestioning allegiance…to your own destruction (in this case…as a married woman). The endless, useless, conflicting platitudes they give instead of real help and logical advice.

I also know how gutted you feel, how tongue-tied and mind-mushed you are when people spout off what sounds holy and bossy and right but is actually idiotic and damaging.

So unwrap your presents (press play) and revel in the ridiculous while I slaughter these silly arguments once and for all.

And you can regift these babies with my blessing.

Tag: Emotional Abuse