Some conservative Christians teach that God puts women in abusive marriages so they can better glorify Him through their suffering. What kind of a god requires the suffering of women and children in order to be glorified?
There is a predictable pattern of behavior your emotional and spiritual abuser will follow when you set healthy boundaries. When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to hold steady in the middle of the kickback.
If you are tangled up in a confusing relationship, one effective strategy to gain a solid footing (and eventually a voice) is to write things down. It doesn’t matter if you are a good writer or not. Your purpose isn’t to win a Pulitzer prize. Here are three important things you can record on paper (or on your computer) that will be tremendously helpful to you over time.
We want to believe we live in an advanced civilization—one that has risen above the base prejudice of our unenlightened ancestors. Human beings have a bent to marginalize other people. We want to be the best Sneetches on the beaches, after all.
Emotional abuse kills you one nibble at a time. It’s not like physical abuse where a big shark comes up behind you and chomps off your leg. No, emotional abuse is more like a gnat bite. You can barely see the little bugger until you feel the bite. Just a tiny bite. No big deal.
Most Christian women who get divorced are not glad it’s over. Divorce isn’t what they wanted. They are devastated for so many reasons. Here’s why, and here’s how we can ultimately heal from the deep grief of divorce.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
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