Flying Free Podcast Archives

What Role Does Fear Play in Our Religion and Our Relationships? [Episode 194]

October 25, 2022

“You don’t know God,” the elder leaned forward and said to me. He knew I was preparing to divorce my emotionally abusive husband.

My body began to tremble. My voice shook.

I realized later that he was right. His god was vindictive and cruel, like a mythological Zeus.

The God I know — deeply, intimately, since I was a child — is gentle and kind and leads me away from fear and control.

That was the first church meeting I ever walked out of. And the last one I ever had with those elders.

It’s also when I realized that I could fly free. So can you.

Stop Waiting for Your Husband to Die So You Can Live [Episode 193]

October 18, 2022

If marriage is for life, then the only way out is death. Right?

I’ve been asked that question, or a variation of it, many times. I used to wonder that question myself.

Marriage IS for life, but not in the way you’ve been told. It’s for the sake of bringing life TO you. And when it’s destroying you instead, THERE IS A WAY OUT.

But the very Bible verses written to bring protection to abused women and rebuke to abusive men have been twisted and turned on their heads…until the words “for life” are a curse and death seems like the only escape (whether his or yours).

Allow me to right these warped words and help you fly free from your despair.

Confronting Religious Trauma and Reconstructing Faith: Interview with Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks [Episode 192]

October 11, 2022

“I’m going to be ninety-two next month, and I have waited my entire life for a book like this.”

A woman said this to Tiffany after she spoke to a Sunday School class about her book, “Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith.”

Many Christians are told their doubts are a sign they haven’t prayed or fasted enough. That their spiritual frustrations are an indication they’re backsliding. That they just don’t have enough faith.

Do you feel a sense of futility over ever measuring up as a Christian? Ever pleasing God? Ever nailing down the formula for blessing or meeting the mark for making yourself small enough?

Tiffany wrote “Gaslighted by God” to give a voice to the pain of devoted Christians whose faith is cracking under the abuse of legalism, who are desperately clinging to beliefs that are hurting them, and who need to know it’s not their fault.

Why Self-Leadership is More Effective Than Being Held Accountable [Episode 191]

October 4, 2022

How do you feel about accountability? Like it, love it, want some more of it?

Or maybe it’s like medicine to you — icky but necessary.

Hold on to your booty, cause I’ve got an opinion on it too.

I think it’s a made-up practice that got a “virtue” sticker slapped on it. I think it arrests our development into emotional adulthood. In fact, I’d say accountability does more harm than good.

And it can never match the power of internal motivation for true, lasting life change.

What if I Want a Divorce but My Abusive Husband Doesn’t? [Episode 190]

September 27, 2022

Surprise! Abusers never want the same thing as their victims. Why should divorce be any different?

Shocking! Abusers never want their “property” to start acting like a person and hightail it out of Dodge (“Dodge” being the marriage. Okay, you get it.)

Spoiler alert! You get to make your own decisions because you’re a grown woman. What? Yes, it’s true.

Divorce isn’t a magic toilet that flushes all your worries away. But it’s a wise, viable option for women who are being systematically destroyed by their closest relationship.

For women who want a divorce from their emotionally abusive husbands, this episode is a reminder of the core things they need to know.

I’m Afraid of My Christian Husband’s Criticism and Disapproval [Episode 189]

September 20, 2022

Imagine a mother who stares at her baby.. She won’t smile. Won’t look it in the eye. Doesn’t react when it holds its arms out to be held. Refuses to comfort it when it cries. The baby screams and sobs. The mother won’t move.

Now multiply that cruelty across each thousands of days. Switch the mother for a husband. Change the baby to a wife.

Other people may throw out the “But does he hit you?” strawman (only extremes, only obvious physical, qualifiable harm counts as abuse). But that baby knows better. You know better. Your desolate heart knows better.

The most devastating hurts don’t show on the outside.

Category: Flying Free Podcast