Flying Free Podcast Archives

Why Don’t I Feel Close to God? Interview with Krispin Mayfield [Episode 198]

November 22, 2022

Learning about emotional and spiritual abuse is dangerous.

You start to see patterns in your marriage, your family, your friendships, your church…and your faith. You start to understand why God often doesn’t feel safe. Why you feel like a constant disappointment. A regular failure. A busted, broken, rejection-worthy woman.

You were taught that God is love…

And that God wants (and demands) perfection. That he loves you IN SPITE of you. That he has to look at Jesus to accept you. That negative emotions are a sign you’re in sin. And a high self-esteem (not hating yourself) is a sign you’re in other sin. That you deserve punishment even when you’re giving 100% to please him.

There’s no winning…

…Until we explore the core of how we approach EVERY relationship in our lives: through attachment style.

The Story About Your Family on the Bus (and a food fight)

A Story About Your Internal Family [Episode 197]

November 15, 2022

I’d like to introduce you to my friend Myrtle. She’s a backseat driver. The kind you can’t ignore.

She’s MY backseat driver. And yours. Myrtle thinks she’s the help-iest thing ever.

She’s a big reason behind many of our behavior patterns. The places and ways we’re stuck. Our self-sabotage. Myrtle is the explanation for a lot of our recurrent fears. She’s loud, proud, and she never shuts up. She provides the same old thoughts that plague us, day after day, year after year.

What do we do with Myrtle? (Not to mention the bus full of other backseat drivers, in this case, younger versions of yourself.)

It starts with realizing there are “no bad parts” in us, including Myrtle. I’ll tell you all about it in this episode, one of five upcoming sessions featured in the Flying Free program.

How Far Should I Go to Give My Emotionally Abusive Husband a Chance to Change? [Episode 196]

November 8, 2022

I remember thinking that if I could just hit on the right inflection in my voice maybe or the correct tone or the perfect combination of words or the right attitude — you know, one of subservience and humility so as not to trigger his fragile ego and bring down his wrath — I’d finally get through. He’d finally get it. The wall would come crumbling down.

Nope.

When I finally filed for divorce, he suddenly said he’d seen the light. He’s willing to go to counseling. If I don’t give him this “final” chance (there have been so many “final” chances), I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough.

Is this you?

My Abusive Husband Says I’m Unbiblical Unless I Reconcile with Him [Episode 195]

November 1, 2022

“Unless you forgive and come back to me, you’re disobeying God and the Bible!”

If I were your abusive husband, I’d say the same thing. Why? Cause then I’d get what I want. Woohoo! Isn’t that what the Bible is all about?

Oh, begging your pardon. I was basing my opinion off how I see most church leaders and many legalistic Christians approach the Bible.

Which means that if you’re looking for advice on whether you should reconcile with your abusive husband — and what reconciliation really means — you’re going to get a whole charcuterie board of different answers. From biased people. Trying to interpret text that doesn’t give a full answer on… basically anything.

Consider this alternative: Ask a different question and provide your own answer.

Sound heretical? Then keep reading (and listening).

What Role Does Fear Play in Our Religion and Our Relationships? [Episode 194]

October 25, 2022

“You don’t know God,” the elder leaned forward and said to me. He knew I was preparing to divorce my emotionally abusive husband.

My body began to tremble. My voice shook.

I realized later that he was right. His god was vindictive and cruel, like a mythological Zeus.

The God I know — deeply, intimately, since I was a child — is gentle and kind and leads me away from fear and control.

That was the first church meeting I ever walked out of. And the last one I ever had with those elders.

It’s also when I realized that I could fly free. So can you.

Stop Waiting for Your Husband to Die So You Can Live [Episode 193]

October 18, 2022

If marriage is for life, then the only way out is death. Right?

I’ve been asked that question, or a variation of it, many times. I used to wonder that question myself.

Marriage IS for life, but not in the way you’ve been told. It’s for the sake of bringing life TO you. And when it’s destroying you instead, THERE IS A WAY OUT.

But the very Bible verses written to bring protection to abused women and rebuke to abusive men have been twisted and turned on their heads…until the words “for life” are a curse and death seems like the only escape (whether his or yours).

Allow me to right these warped words and help you fly free from your despair.

Category: Flying Free Podcast