Flying Free Podcast Archives

Nine Codependency Behaviors Religious Communities Reward in Christian Women

There’s a lot of confusion surrounding the term “codependency.” Is codependency bad? Am I codependent? How do I know? And what can I do differently if I want to break some of my codependent habits?

In this episode, I break down eighteen different codependent thoughts and beliefs that many Christian women are taught. I also explore nine codependent “rules” that abusers and abusive religious communities hold us to that create codependence in us, and then I systematically explain why they are flawed and how we can change our thoughts surrounding them.

We are not stuck in codependency. Let’s learn how to break free from the rules and regulations that keep us in codependent cycles.

Interview with My Second Husband: How We Met and Married

You do NOT want to miss this episode with the guest I’ve been trying to get on the podcast for YEARS – my very own husband, Tom Hoffman.

Listen to us riff about how we reconnected decades after we had first met (he was one of my grade-school bullies!), what it was like trying to date while getting a divorce at the same time, what our wedding was like (it includes pie, fries, and kids running around everywhere), what life has been like since then, and our long-awaited honeymoon run down.

Tom has been the biggest unexpected blessing to me and to our whole family, and I’m so excited to get to share our story together for your listening entertainment (and education).

Help! My Husband Twists Words to Confuse Me, and I Feel Guilty and Full of Shame

Have you ever wondered what Genesis 3:16 really means? Or perhaps your abuser is accusing you of forcing him into a transactional relationship simply because you’ve set down some boundaries he doesn’t like? How do we deal with these tough questions? In this episode, Natalie answers these questions by getting into the nitty gritty of Genesis 3:16, why we can trust ourselves, how not to get hooked in our abuser’s little game, and more. Let’s get out of the guilt and shame loop together.

Where Does My Help Come From? Interview with Keith Giles

Modern Christianity tends to champion Bible worship over Christ worship, and in this episode, we are joined by Keith Giles to discuss the implications of essentially replacing Christ with the Bible. Keith is a former pastor who “left the pulpit to follow Jesus.” He is the author of notable books such as Sola Mysterium, Jesus Unbound, and Jesus Undefeated, the podcast host of Heretic Happy Hour, Apostates Anonymous, and Second Cup with Keith, and is the Founder of the Square 1 Community. Having been self-taught, Keith has insight into what isn’t being taught in seminary school, and in our conversation, he explains the difference between education and indoctrination, as well as that between faith and certainty. He breaks down the Jesus-centric approach to scripture and what it truly means when it’s said that scripture is God-breathed. Tune in to hear Keith’s take on the fallibility of humans and the Christ-centric way we should approach the Bible.

Why We Get Stuck and How to Unstick Ourselves: Interview with Britt Frank

Are you ready to deal with the things you’ve been avoiding and find out how to get unstuck? Joining us today on Flying Free is the incredible speaker, therapist, and author of The Science of Stuck, Britt Frank. Through Britt’s abusive relationship, substance abuse, and spiritual challenges she has learned that mental health is a commitment to reality. In this episode, we discuss why Britt wrote her book, the role of anxiety in our lives, why we have to be distinguished about our language use when talking about anxiety, fear, and worry, and why so many people choose to stay in abusive relationships for the benefits. There’s no such thing as an overreaction, only mismatched reactions, and Britt talks us through how to handle freeze response, manage panic attacks, and acknowledge shadow intelligence to become conscious decision-makers in our lives. Finally, we discuss why forgiveness is not essential to healing. Don’t miss out on this incredibly informative conversation!

Celebrating the Holidays When Life Is Blowing Up – Part Two

The holiday season can be a very emotional time. While it’s festive and fun for many people, this time of the year isn’t necessarily a happy or carefree period for everyone. Last week, we answered some questions posed by our Flying Free community about how to get through the holidays when life feels like it’s falling apart. In fact, we received so many questions from the women in our program that we decided to make this into a two-part series. Tuning in today, you’ll receive some heartfelt advice for moving past holiday guilt and shame, standing your sacred ground despite nasty comments, navigating gift-giving in a way that aligns with your core values, and more. We also offer you some valuable tools and strategies, including questions to ask yourself to help you shift your thinking and show up with love and joy in the present moment. Join us for more tips about creating a space of peace amidst the chaos!

Celebrating the Holidays When Life Is Blowing Up – Part One

The holiday season can be bittersweet, imbued with magic and pain in equal parts. For many people, it can be a very emotional time, with all the Christmassy sounds and smells unearthing memories from the depths of their childhoods. It’s important to be kind to ourselves during this time, and in this episode, we’re tackling some of the questions posed by our Flying Free community in order to equip you to make the most of the holidays! Tune in for advice on how to honor healing and pain while making space for joy, how to prepare your kids for new traditions amidst the changes in their lives, and how to remain unaffected by others’ bad humor, as well as how to manage loneliness, and more. If you’re at a loss about how to keep the Christmas spirit going for you and your family, we also share some examples of fun new Christmas traditions for you to try out. We hope you’ll join us today!

200th Episode Celebration: The State of the Christian Survivor and Advocate Community

Is abuse more widespread than ever before or are we more aware of it? Are churches listening to the cries of abused women? Is anything getting better?

I’m joined by advocates Sarah McDugal, Ngina Otiende, and Gretchen Baskerville, and my former podcast sidekick Rachel Harden as we celebrate the 200th Flying Free podcast episode and discuss the incredible support and awareness that’s growing in the Christian survivor community.

We believe the tide is changing, and every single survivor is part of a growing wave of truth tellers, critical thinkers, and courageous voices.

How Many Years Does a Christian Wife Owe Her Abusive Husband?

Would you play a card game with a cheater? Once maybe, right? Then, it’s a solid H-E-double-hockey-stick no.

What about for a month? A year? Five years? Twenty?

Would you tell your daughter to play with a cheater? Your best friend?

I’m gonna guess the answer is “abso-freaking-lutely not!”

So why do we think we “owe” a husband who has shown himself to be abusive any more of our precious time?

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