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I’m So Confused! Is This Really Abuse? [Episode 224]

May 23, 2023

Covert abuse sneaks up on you. You may not recognize certain behaviors in your spouse as being abusive for days, weeks, months, or years, and even then, they can be hard to identify. That’s what makes covert abuse so incredibly painful, confusing, and hard to see, especially from the outside.

Is your husband emotionally abusive, or does he just not know what it takes to be a good husband in a marriage? When does abuse become abuse — the first time, or after it is repeated many times over? If it’s just covert abuse and not overt, “obvious” abuse, does that even count as abuse, and should you just be patient with your husband? Let’s talk through each of these listener questions and more together.

Help! My Church is Going to Kick Me Out Unless I Submit to Their Authority and Go Back to My Abuser! [Episode 217]

April 4, 2023

Does the Bible tell women that they need to stay with their abusive husband in the hope that her good behavior and great example will convert him? And how in the world are you supposed to respond to church leadership when they tell you that you need to submit to them?

Let’s look to the Bible for answers to these tough questions (that I bet have crossed your mind once or twice!) and find out what Jesus wants for women who are being oppressed in these various ways.

Won’t Abusers Get Away With Everything if We Believe God’s Love is Unconditional? [Episode 213]

March 7, 2023

Are we unconditionally loved by God or not? How you answer that question will play a role in how you live your life.

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Three [Episode 183]

August 9, 2022

Life after abuse can feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You struggle with the same things. The same thoughts. The same downward spirals. Over and over and over.

Flying Free is all about breaking out of harmful cycles, in and after abusive relationships. If you want to see this in action, Amie is a poster child for life beyond abuse: healing, thriving, and constantly growing.

Our discussion was so powerful, her story so incredible, the amazing freedom she’s experienced so inspiring, that we talked for two hours. There was no way I was going to cut a single minute from the recording, so I broke it into three episodes.

This series catalogs her thought transformations, from old to new, across the most important aspects of her life, the parts that were hit the hardest by spiritual and emotional abuse. So if you’re feeling stuck, defeated, or just plain frustrated as heck in your recovery process, this is one of the greatest freebies you’ll come across.

How You and Your Faith Community Got Hoodwinked by an Abuser [Episode 177]

June 28, 2022

Do you wonder how he did it?

How your abuser tricked you and blindfolded your church? How he just keeps coming out on top, despite all the evidence pointing to what a sick, twisted, evil person he is?

Abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It always involves the community. In this case: the church.

Wade Mullen staked his Ph.D. on the study of the hidden tactics of abuse, especially spiritual abuse within religious communities.

What he found were patterns of behavior. The slow and steady set-up for abuse to become a system, a system to become a theology, and a theology to become god.

Imagine with me: A relationship within a community where all the red flags (manipulation, lying, criticism) are called green flags and all the green flags (truth-telling, boundaries, self-respect) are called red flags.

It’s the heist of the century. And it’s working all too well.

Should Abused Christian Wives Stay and Suffer Like Job? [Episode 174]

June 7, 2022

Imagine two terminally ill children. Both are given three months to live. For one, there’s nothing doctors can do—death is certain. The disease is incurable and untreatable.

For the second, there’s a life-saving treatment available. If it isn’t taken, the next three months will be a slow, excruciating crawl toward the end. If the treatment is started as soon as possible, the child will live and—what’s more—thrive.

Family, friends, and church leaders of the second child gather around and declare that the life-saving treatment shouldn’t be accepted. Since the first child’s death is certain, it would be best for the second child to accept death as well. The second child should die. In fact, not only is it right to condemn the second child to death, but their suffering and pain will bring glory to God.

One more thing. The second child is YOUR child.

Thoughts?

I have some. So listen in.

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