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The ways emotional abusers don't take responsibility

Different Ways Emotional Abusers Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Behavior [Episode 169]

He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how.

He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts.

He’s struggling. He can’t help it.

Do you have these thoughts about your husband?

Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken?

Didn’t think so.

I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one.

This episode comes with not one but two guarantees:

Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to.

How Writing Will Help You Figure Out Your Confusing and Painful Marriage

How Writing Will Help You Figure Out Your Confusing and Painful Marriage

If you are tangled up in a confusing relationship, one effective strategy to gain a solid footing (and eventually a voice) is to write things down. It doesn’t matter if you are a good writer or not. Your purpose isn’t to win a Pulitzer prize. Here are three important things you can record on paper (or on your computer) that will be tremendously helpful to you over time.

Was it Really That Bad? And Maybe He'll Change?

Was it Really That Bad? And Maybe He’ll Change?

Emotional abuse kills you one nibble at a time. It’s not like physical abuse where a big shark comes up behind you and chomps off your leg. No, emotional abuse is more like a gnat bite. You can barely see the little bugger until you feel the bite. Just a tiny bite. No big deal.

How Not to Be an Ass: Interview with Author Andrew Bauman

How Not to Be an Ass: Interview with Author Andrew Bauman [Episode 164]

“How Not to Be a Meanie” doesn’t hit the same, does it?

“How Not to Act Out Patriarchal Theology, AKA ‘A Chocolate-Covered Turd’” is probably too long.

And Andrew Bauman wants to get the attention of men who have bought into domination and called it love, and control and called it protection. The men who feel entitled to women’s bodies and minds and service, all in the name of God. Asses.

How does he tackle the problem? One donkey-sized piece at a time.

The One About God and Religion and Hell

The One About God and Religion and Hell [Episode 163]

This may be controversial for some of my audience. Twenty years ago, I may have unsubscribed, not understanding what this was actually about.

What IS this about? It’s about Who God is. It’s about representing Him well. That’s what Jesus did, and that is our calling, as Christians.

This is about the way we view God and how our view impacts the way we live our lives. We either honor the truth about God’s character or we tell a lie about God’s character.

This is about a lie I used to believe about God.

I don’t have the answers. That’s what makes me different from who I was twenty years ago. Back then, I knew everything. And I told everyone so they could also know everything. And I judged everyone who didn’t know everything. Like I did.

Twenty years later I definitely do NOT know everything. I believe a couple of simple, life-changing things about God, and I run everything through the grid of that simple faith.

And it brings love and peace and joy into my life, and that hopefully touches the lives of those around me.

An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything

An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything [Episode 160]

The only reason I’m where I am today — divorced from an abusive husband, healed, remarried to a good man, helping others, and thriving — is because of one simple tool.

I share it in Flying Free and Flying Higher, my online coaching, education, and support communities that are worth their weight in fat-melting chocolate (please science, make this real).

Today, I’m sharing the best thing I have.

You get a free, front-row seat to this show. Prepare yourself. Cause I absolutely stake my secret pie stash on the fact that if you use this tool, it will ROCK YOUR WORLD.