Taking Back Your Life After Emotional Abuse


Oh my goodness GRACIOUS, do I have a treat for you. Today I’m speaking with Gender Justice Specialist, Natalie Collins, about how to take back your life from abuse as well as her brand new book, Out of Control: Couples, Conflict, and the Capacity for Change (read a great review HERE).

She is a delight to listen to for so many reasons. First of all, she’s from the UK, so for all my American listeners, feel free to enjoy her accent and even practice saying some of the words she uses. It’s ever so much fun, plus we all know anyone with a British accent is especially smart, right? Of course.

She’s also a fast talker. That means she has packed at least 4,739 golden nuggets of wisdom and “AH HA!” moments into this one hour episode. You won’t be able to take notes. Just download the transcript below and start underlining.

And finally, she is passionate, hilarious, and one of the most articulate voices I’ve ever heard on this subject. We talked for an hour, and we could have easily kept going for another 17.

So grab your cuppa and have a listen. (Has she rubbed off on me? I hope so.)

About Natalie Collins

Natalie Collins has been working to address domestic abuse issues for almost a decade, working directly with women subjected to abuse and domestic abuse perpetrators, and training church leaders and congregations on domestic abuse issues. She has delivered keynote addresses both nationally and internationally on the subject, and has spoken alongside Archbishops and UN representatives. Natalie is also the founder of the “Fifty Shades is Domestic Abuse” campaign and has appeared on national television, radio and printed media talking about abuse, consent and women’s rights. She has further written several articles and book contributions on domestic violence, and is the author of the widely used domestic abuse pack for UK churches, the Restored Church Pack.

She set up Spark (www.sparkequip.org) and works to enable individuals and organizations to prevent and respond to male violence against women. She is also the Creator and Director of DAY (www.dayprogramme.org), an innovative youth domestic abuse and exploitation education program and of the Own My Life course (www.ownmylifecourse.org) for women who have been subjected to abuse. She organizes Project 3:28 (www.project328.info), co-founded the UK Christian Feminist Network (www.christianfeministnetwork.com), works as a Consultant with Press Red, has written a Grove Book on Gender Aware Youth Practice, and her book, Out Of Control: Couples, Conflict and the Capacity for Change, has been published by SPCK. She speaks and writes on understanding and ending gender injustice nationally and internationally.

You can follow Natalie on Twitter HERE.

You can buy her incredibly well-written and helpful book HERE. And if you do, please leave an American review! Apparently Amazon has different pages for the UK and America, and while Natalie is well known in her home country, she is not as well known over here. Yet. 🙂

And when you’re done listening to our interview here, you will want to hear more of what she has to share. You can do that by going to her website HERE. She’s got some pages with links to her TV and radio interviews as well as articles she has written for a variety of publications.

I mentioned this debate/interview she had with complementarian pastor, Phil Moore HERE. (It’s a GREAT debate!)

Click to Play:

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Taking Back Your Life After Emotional Abuse [Transcript]

Episode 30 Transcript Download


  1. Avatar

    Wow! Wonderful podcast. I really appreciated the connection that Natalie made to how the purity movement set her up for abuse. This is something I hadn’t considered in my own story, but I am now reflecting on how the purity movement impacted my life as well. I so appreciate the honesty and transparency in the Flying Free podcasts.

  2. Avatar

    Natalie Collins, your story is so similar to mine. Wow. Thank you for sharing this. ♥ I’m astounded at how familiar your abuser was to my own.

  3. Avatar

    Thank you. That was so interesting. I also listened to the debate, and I agree that Phil Moore seemed condescending. I think we who have been under that teaching are particularly sensitive to that. I’ve been in Mennonite and shepherding churches, and the Gothard movement, and I’m sorry, but as good as it sounds, I’ve never seen it work out as promised. We can give someone authority, usually for a period of time (boss at work) but when people take authority, it just goes to their head. It’s just not safe. So far, I’ve never heard/seen these men quote Jesus, “The gentiles lord it over each other, but with you it shall not be so, but you should serve each other.” Funny how they always go to Paul, and only part of what he says. And they emphasize headship, not servanthood.


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