Learn with Natalie Archives

We Are Like the God We Worship [Episode 171]

May 17, 2022

I have a confession.

I’m a recovering asshole.

Years ago, I had a friend. Her husband cheated on her. Then, he did it again. He kept cheating on her. He wasn’t sorry.

Do you know what I told her to do?

Stay with him. Pray and stay. Worse, I was proud to tell her this advice. Because I was God’s girl scout, and I knew best.

Now, I can easily imagine the grief and further pain my words and assumptions added to her heartbreak. I thought everything was black and white. A + B = C, every time. Life was a math problem, and I had the answer.

Boy, did I eat crow (and that’s just one example).

But in many ways, I’m no different than everybody else. And there IS an equation that applies to us all:

Our thoughts make our feelings. Our feelings make our beliefs. And our beliefs make us.

We become what we believe. We are like the god we worship.

What’s your god like? And what do you do when someone else’s god says you’re bad?

The Worst Things People Say to Justify, Minimize, and Excuse the Abuse You’ve Experienced [Episode 168]

April 26, 2022

I have two presents for you.

One is a regift. The other is brand-spanking, hot-off-the-waffle-press new.

First, I compiled some of the best (and by “best” I mean absolute trash and worst) things people say to Christian women in abusive marriages when they seek help or divorce.

Second, I’m giving you a comeback. A burn-it-to-the-ground, shred-it-to-cheddar-cheese, drop-the-mic, break-the-wrist-and-walk-away comeback for every single one.

I know how hard it is to stand before people who attack your character, deny your reality, determine your destiny, and demand your unquestioning allegiance…to your own destruction (in this case…as a married woman). The endless, useless, conflicting platitudes they give instead of real help and logical advice.

I also know how gutted you feel, how tongue-tied and mind-mushed you are when people spout off what sounds holy and bossy and right but is actually idiotic and damaging.

So unwrap your presents (press play) and revel in the ridiculous while I slaughter these silly arguments once and for all.

And you can regift these babies with my blessing.

How Churches Can Help Abuse Victims (And How They Often Hurt Them Instead) [Episode 166]

April 12, 2022

It’s hammer time.

I’ve broken down the problems churches face when abuse victims come forward (along with how churches usually react). Then, I smash through the fallacies their hurtful behavior is constructed on. Finally, I provide the building blocks of how to respond to abuse like Jesus did, so the church can be a tool of healing instead of just…tools.

Cause there’s no point in demoing a building if you don’t intend to build something better.

Here’s how the real church should respond to women begging for help from abusive partners.

An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything [Episode 160]

March 1, 2022

The only reason I’m where I am today — divorced from an abusive husband, healed, remarried to a good man, helping others, and thriving — is because of one simple tool.

I share it in Flying Free and Flying Higher, my online coaching, education, and support communities that are worth their weight in fat-melting chocolate (please science, make this real).

Today, I’m sharing the best thing I have.

You get a free, front-row seat to this show. Prepare yourself. Cause I absolutely stake my secret pie stash on the fact that if you use this tool, it will ROCK YOUR WORLD.

Ten Thoughts Confident Women Think When Their Husbands Act Like Jerks [Episode 159]

February 22, 2022

It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?

A grown man throwing a tantrum. Stomping around, calling you names, slamming doors.

Hits you right in the feels, eh?

Or maybe he’s the quiet type of mean. Stonewalling. Sleeping for days. Leaving for hours without warning.

However a husband’s jerky behavior manifests, most Christian wives are taught to respond the same ways:

Assume you’re the problem. Feel shame.
Assume you have to endure his behavior. Feel despair.
Assume you have to make his life work. Feel resentment.

For all these common feelings, I’ve got some uncommon alternatives. And they WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Which is a lot more attractive than a grown man acting like a two-year-old.

How Do You Break the Cycle of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse? [Episode 157]

February 8, 2022

Hit it with a hammer.

Done.

If only it were that easy.

In reality, the cycle of emotional and spiritual abuse feels like a freight train rushing down the tracks of your everyday. An unstoppable force. And if you stand in its way, you’ll be run down. A sad little pancake beholden to the destructive patterns you’ve existed in since…who knows when.

My dear. You forgot about two things.

First: You can’t stop that train.

Second: You don’t need to stop that train to heal and be free and come into your power.

Remember the handle thingy on the side of the tracks, controlling the railroad switch?

Yup. Start there.

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