Learn with Natalie Archives

Bad Advice Christians Offer Emotional Abuse Victims [Episode 235]

August 8, 2023

You’ve probably read countless books and articles about marriage, how to be a good Christian wife, but if you’re in an abusive marriage, I’m here to tell you that these reading materials probably don’t apply to you. Many of the authors writing them don’t have any knowledge regarding abuse in Christian marriages, so there are no caveats, exceptions, or words for those women who are struggling with an abusive spouse.

In today’s episode, I take apart an article on marriage that I recently read to prove my point that these articles really are not made for women who are dealing with an emotional abuser. The article may be applicable for a woman in a normal, run-of-the-mill Christian marriage, but for those of you who don’t find yourselves in a marriage like that, this article is probably not going to be for you. Let’s talk about why.

A Story About Letting Go [Episode 234]

August 1, 2023

“Till death do us part.” Those words haunt you.

The enemy was supposed to be outside your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away.

But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to.

And he’s counting on it.

Dealing With Grief When Waking up to Emotional Abuse [Episode 232]

July 18, 2023

In today’s episode, we are going to be talking about the deep sadness that survivors experience as they begin to wake up to their reality and see the truth about their relationship. I get it — I was there. It took me a while to truly wake up to my reality, and when I did, that reality hit me like a ton of bricks. It was painful.

Let’s talk about noticing and normalizing our pain so that we can move from grief a bit more quickly than if we just stuffed it down, ignoring it and drowning it out. We all have pain — the question is, how are you going to deal with yours?

How Cognitive Dissonance Can Be a Sign of Healthy Growth [Episode 231]

July 11, 2023

Cognitive dissonance seems like it would be a “bad” thing, right? It can actually be a very good thing, and vital to our growth! Take a deep breath – it’s okay if you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance.

In this episode, I break down what cognitive dissonance really is, why women in emotionally abusive marriages may experience a lot of cognitive dissonance, how cognitive dissonance can help us create better, healthier thoughts, and I also share three fun illustrations of cognitive dissonance for all you listeners who love a good word picture. Ready? Let’s dive in.

Eight Steps to Getting a Divorce: Understanding the Divorce Process [Episode 219]

April 18, 2023

Have you ever considered getting a divorce, but the process is so foreign to you that you feel like shutting down when the thought crosses your mind? It can feel big, unfamiliar, and overwhelming. I want to help break it down for you in eight steps so you’ll have an overview of what it’s like and how to prepare.

Let’s talk about picking an attorney, what the paperwork might look like, how your soon-to-be-ex might respond, what mediation looks like, and more. Divorce does not have to be scary and can actually be life-saving for you and your family.

Do Marriage Intensives Work? [Episode 215]

March 21, 2023

Marriage intensives: What are they? Do they work? Are they worth the money? Can a marriage intensive change an abuser? I get these questions often, and I asked the same questions myself. In fact, I believed in marriage intensives so fully that I spent $7,500 just for a man to take pictures of my angry face and talk about his own practice and family for one-third of the time. (Need context? Me too, girl. Go listen to the episode!)

Let’s discuss whether a marriage intensive is helpful when dealing with an abusive husband, whether it helped my marriage personally, and then some things you can do without spending $7,500 to “save” your marriage. I’ve got a list. A very fun list.

Category: Learn with Natalie