Learn with Natalie Archives

Eight Steps to Getting a Divorce: Understanding the Divorce Process [Episode 219]

April 18, 2023

Have you ever considered getting a divorce, but the process is so foreign to you that you feel like shutting down when the thought crosses your mind? It can feel big, unfamiliar, and overwhelming. I want to help break it down for you in eight steps so you’ll have an overview of what it’s like and how to prepare.

Let’s talk about picking an attorney, what the paperwork might look like, how your soon-to-be-ex might respond, what mediation looks like, and more. Divorce does not have to be scary and can actually be life-saving for you and your family.

Do Marriage Intensives Work? [Episode 215]

March 21, 2023

Marriage intensives: What are they? Do they work? Are they worth the money? Can a marriage intensive change an abuser? I get these questions often, and I asked the same questions myself. In fact, I believed in marriage intensives so fully that I spent $7,500 just for a man to take pictures of my angry face and talk about his own practice and family for one-third of the time. (Need context? Me too, girl. Go listen to the episode!)

Let’s discuss whether a marriage intensive is helpful when dealing with an abusive husband, whether it helped my marriage personally, and then some things you can do without spending $7,500 to “save” your marriage. I’ve got a list. A very fun list.

The Story About Your Family on the Bus (and a food fight)

A Story About Your Internal Family [Episode 197]

November 15, 2022

I’d like to introduce you to my friend Myrtle. She’s a backseat driver. The kind you can’t ignore.

She’s MY backseat driver. And yours. Myrtle thinks she’s the help-iest thing ever.

She’s a big reason behind many of our behavior patterns. The places and ways we’re stuck. Our self-sabotage. Myrtle is the explanation for a lot of our recurrent fears. She’s loud, proud, and she never shuts up. She provides the same old thoughts that plague us, day after day, year after year.

What do we do with Myrtle? (Not to mention the bus full of other backseat drivers, in this case, younger versions of yourself.)

It starts with realizing there are “no bad parts” in us, including Myrtle. I’ll tell you all about it in this episode, one of five upcoming sessions featured in the Flying Free program.

Why Self-Leadership is More Effective Than Being Held Accountable [Episode 191]

October 4, 2022

How do you feel about accountability? Like it, love it, want some more of it?

Or maybe it’s like medicine to you — icky but necessary.

Hold on to your booty, cause I’ve got an opinion on it too.

I think it’s a made-up practice that got a “virtue” sticker slapped on it. I think it arrests our development into emotional adulthood. In fact, I’d say accountability does more harm than good.

And it can never match the power of internal motivation for true, lasting life change.

I’m Afraid of My Christian Husband’s Criticism and Disapproval [Episode 189]

September 20, 2022

Imagine a mother who stares at her baby.. She won’t smile. Won’t look it in the eye. Doesn’t react when it holds its arms out to be held. Refuses to comfort it when it cries. The baby screams and sobs. The mother won’t move.

Now multiply that cruelty across each thousands of days. Switch the mother for a husband. Change the baby to a wife.

Other people may throw out the “But does he hit you?” strawman (only extremes, only obvious physical, qualifiable harm counts as abuse). But that baby knows better. You know better. Your desolate heart knows better.

The most devastating hurts don’t show on the outside.

How to Know If Your Christian Dating Relationship is Toxic [Episode 185]

August 23, 2022

As terrible as being married to an abuser is, there’s something worse.

It’s getting free from your abuser, then getting remarried to another one.

For a lot of survivors, that’s their worst fear.

Can they trust themselves to identify red flags when they were taught to dismiss them for so long? Will they be able to see past the bullcrap if a potential suitor is slick and smooth but a turd of a guy underneath the facade? How can they be sure they’re choosing a safe, truly good person, not a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde?

I know that fear all too well. And I trust myself to choose good people now. (I did; I’m remarried to one.) I’ve also taught hundreds upon hundreds of women how to spot red flags in relationships.

By the time you listen to this episode, you’ll know whether your Christian dating relationship (or any dating relationship) is toxic.

Category: Learn with Natalie