Listener Questions Archives

What If I Had an Affair While I Was Married to My Abusive Husband [Episode 162]

March 15, 2022

Did you know that abuse has a bestie?

Its sneaky little friend is Shame. Shame is a talkative fellow but very dependable.

He hangs on your earlobes and yells:

“You’re not perfect, so you can’t point out your husband’s faults.”
“You yelled back, so you expect him to stop.”
“You pull away emotionally, so you can’t get angry when he stonewalls.”
“You hit him after he hit you, so you deserved it.”
“You found comfort in someone else’s arms, so you’re just as bad as him.”
“You have no right to expect better when you’re so screwed up.”

Shame keeps us bound and trapped, even long after a divorce.

So what should you do with these painful, tormenting thoughts?

How Will I Know When Enough Is Enough and I Can Walk Away? [Episode 158]

February 15, 2022

“He doesn’t even have to be kind. I just wish he wouldn’t make every waking moment a nightmare. What else can I do?” she said into the phone.

“I don’t know,” her sister said. “You’ve done counseling. And prayed. Asked pastors for help. Read books. Been quiet. Spoken up. Given more sex. You’ve borne the consequences of all his poor choices. You’ve pushed your health to the brink to serve him. For years.”

“But I haven’t fasted and prayed for a straight month,” she murmured.

“THIS IS INSANE. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR!” her sister exploded.

“Yes,” she said.

It finally clicked. And in that moment, she knew.

“I have to separate.”

It was her “enough” moment. And she never looked back.

What Are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce? (And Other Questions!) [Episode 156]

February 1, 2022

Are you confused over whether you have legitimate grounds for divorce?

How should you respond to people who claim you’re cynical and oversensitive when you try to speak against emotional and spiritual abuse?

What’s the best way to handle family members, especially children, who think you’re the bad guy in your abusive marriage?

What if you’re separated but you just aren’t ready to divorce…and the clock keeps ticking?

Limbo is a fun party game…and a lousy place to live. So let me offer some advice that will break you out of the ruts these difficult questions might have you stuck in.

When Wolves Play Dress Up [Episode 154]

January 18, 2022

Is your husband great at playing dress up?

One moment, usually in public, he speaks sweetly, cuddles the baby, and prays over your family. The next moment, usually in the privacy of your home, he glares at you, yells in disgust, and gives you the silent treatment.

He’s the sun and a raging storm.

He’s heaven and hell.

He’s…? How do you figure out reality? How do you come to terms with the oil and water of who he is?

And what do you do when nobody believes that he and others like him are actually wolves in sweet, little sheep’s clothing?

When All Your Thoughts Are Despairing and Hopeless [Episode 141]

October 19, 2021

If you’re like most Christian women in confusing and painful marriages, you’ve tried everything.

You’ve read the books, the blogs, the sarcastic memes, and the devotionals.

You’ve paid for counseling, training, seminars, and conferences.

You’ve asked for advice from other couples, your parents, your pastors, friends.

You’ve prayed and read your Bible and journaled, cried, and begged.

But your marriage never changes. Or it just gets worse.

So what’s the REAL ANSWER? What’s THE ONE THING YOU’RE MISSING?

It’s simple. It’s free. It’s right in front of you.

Does God Love You Less Because Your Marriage Is Bad? [Episode 137]

September 21, 2021

If your child was starving and asked you for bread, would you make her eat from a dumpster?

If your child was dying of thirst and asked for water, would you pour sand down his throat?

Are you that child? Starving for safety. And love. And honesty. And help. And tenderness. And dying a little more each day in their absence and their opposites.

So why doesn’t God treat you like a daughter? Why does he give food and drink and good husbands and happy families to some but to you…only pain?

If these questions keep you up at night, this episode is for you.

Category: Listener Questions