Listener Questions Archives

Celebrating the Holidays When Life Is Blowing Up – Part One [Episode 201]

December 13, 2022

The holiday season can be bittersweet, imbued with magic and pain in equal parts. For many people, it can be a very emotional time, with all the Christmassy sounds and smells unearthing memories from the depths of their childhoods. It’s important to be kind to ourselves during this time, and in this episode, we’re tackling some of the questions posed by our Flying Free community in order to equip you to make the most of the holidays! Tune in for advice on how to honor healing and pain while making space for joy, how to prepare your kids for new traditions amidst the changes in their lives, and how to remain unaffected by others’ bad humor, as well as how to manage loneliness, and more. If you’re at a loss about how to keep the Christmas spirit going for you and your family, we also share some examples of fun new Christmas traditions for you to try out. We hope you’ll join us today!

How Many Years Does a Christian Wife Owe Her Abusive Husband? [Episode 199]

November 29, 2022

Would you play a card game with a cheater? Once maybe, right? Then, it’s a solid H-E-double-hockey-stick no.

What about for a month? A year? Five years? Twenty?

Would you tell your daughter to play with a cheater? Your best friend?

I’m gonna guess the answer is “abso-freaking-lutely not!”

So why do we think we “owe” a husband who has shown himself to be abusive any more of our precious time?

How Far Should I Go to Give My Emotionally Abusive Husband a Chance to Change? [Episode 196]

November 8, 2022

I remember thinking that if I could just hit on the right inflection in my voice maybe or the correct tone or the perfect combination of words or the right attitude — you know, one of subservience and humility so as not to trigger his fragile ego and bring down his wrath — I’d finally get through. He’d finally get it. The wall would come crumbling down.

Nope.

When I finally filed for divorce, he suddenly said he’d seen the light. He’s willing to go to counseling. If I don’t give him this “final” chance (there have been so many “final” chances), I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough.

Is this you?

My Abusive Husband Says I’m Unbiblical Unless I Reconcile with Him [Episode 195]

November 1, 2022

“Unless you forgive and come back to me, you’re disobeying God and the Bible!”

If I were your abusive husband, I’d say the same thing. Why? Cause then I’d get what I want. Woohoo! Isn’t that what the Bible is all about?

Oh, begging your pardon. I was basing my opinion off how I see most church leaders and many legalistic Christians approach the Bible.

Which means that if you’re looking for advice on whether you should reconcile with your abusive husband — and what reconciliation really means — you’re going to get a whole charcuterie board of different answers. From biased people. Trying to interpret text that doesn’t give a full answer on… basically anything.

Consider this alternative: Ask a different question and provide your own answer.

Sound heretical? Then keep reading (and listening).

Stop Waiting for Your Husband to Die So You Can Live [Episode 193]

October 18, 2022

If marriage is for life, then the only way out is death. Right?

I’ve been asked that question, or a variation of it, many times. I used to wonder that question myself.

Marriage IS for life, but not in the way you’ve been told. It’s for the sake of bringing life TO you. And when it’s destroying you instead, THERE IS A WAY OUT.

But the very Bible verses written to bring protection to abused women and rebuke to abusive men have been twisted and turned on their heads…until the words “for life” are a curse and death seems like the only escape (whether his or yours).

Allow me to right these warped words and help you fly free from your despair.

What if I Want a Divorce but My Abusive Husband Doesn’t? [Episode 190]

September 27, 2022

Surprise! Abusers never want the same thing as their victims. Why should divorce be any different?

Shocking! Abusers never want their “property” to start acting like a person and hightail it out of Dodge (“Dodge” being the marriage. Okay, you get it.)

Spoiler alert! You get to make your own decisions because you’re a grown woman. What? Yes, it’s true.

Divorce isn’t a magic toilet that flushes all your worries away. But it’s a wise, viable option for women who are being systematically destroyed by their closest relationship.

For women who want a divorce from their emotionally abusive husbands, this episode is a reminder of the core things they need to know.

Category: Listener Questions