Search Results for: boundaries – Page 4

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Two

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Two [Episode 182]

“I’ve got to share this with as many people as possible.” That’s what I decided when Amie showed me her thought work from Flying Higher.

What the heck is “thought work”? Well, I’ll answer your question with a question.

How often do you have the same thoughts? You know, the crappy ones. “Nothing will ever change. If I could just get him to see how much he’s hurting me. I have to wait for God to move; I can’t do anything about this. I need someone to come rescue me. I’m trapped. I’ll never heal.”

What if you had new beliefs that led to new emotions and new actions and an ENTIRE NEW LIFE?

I’m not blowing smoke up your tailpipe. The truth is: You could have all your problems solved right now, and you’d still be stuck if your thoughts didn’t change too. And they don’t on their own.

Our beliefs keep us in abuse. It’s only our beliefs that can free us. Thought work is the simple way to break free.

Want some clear evidence? I recorded three episodes’ worth—Amie’s story. It’s incredible, and one of many in the Sisterhood.

More
How You and Your Faith Community Got Hoodwinked by an Abuser

How You and Your Faith Community Got Hoodwinked by an Abuser [Episode 177]

Do you wonder how he did it?

How your abuser tricked you and blindfolded your church? How he just keeps coming out on top, despite all the evidence pointing to what a sick, twisted, evil person he is?

Abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It always involves the community. In this case: the church.

Wade Mullen staked his Ph.D. on the study of the hidden tactics of abuse, especially spiritual abuse within religious communities.

What he found were patterns of behavior. The slow and steady set-up for abuse to become a system, a system to become a theology, and a theology to become god.

Imagine with me: A relationship within a community where all the red flags (manipulation, lying, criticism) are called green flags and all the green flags (truth-telling, boundaries, self-respect) are called red flags.

It’s the heist of the century. And it’s working all too well.

More
The ways emotional abusers don't take responsibility

Different Ways Emotional Abusers Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Behavior [Episode 169]

He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how.

He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts.

He’s struggling. He can’t help it.

Do you have these thoughts about your husband?

Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken?

Didn’t think so.

I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one.

This episode comes with not one but two guarantees:

Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to.

More
Was it Really That Bad? And Maybe He'll Change?

Was it Really That Bad? And Maybe He’ll Change?

Emotional abuse kills you one nibble at a time. It’s not like physical abuse where a big shark comes up behind you and chomps off your leg. No, emotional abuse is more like a gnat bite. You can barely see the little bugger until you feel the bite. Just a tiny bite. No big deal.

More
Ten Thoughts Confident Women Think When Their Husbands Act Like Jerks

Ten Thoughts Confident Women Think When Their Husbands Act Like Jerks [Episode 159]

It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?

A grown man throwing a tantrum. Stomping around, calling you names, slamming doors.

Hits you right in the feels, eh?

Or maybe he’s the quiet type of mean. Stonewalling. Sleeping for days. Leaving for hours without warning.

However a husband’s jerky behavior manifests, most Christian wives are taught to respond the same ways:

Assume you’re the problem. Feel shame.
Assume you have to endure his behavior. Feel despair.
Assume you have to make his life work. Feel resentment.

For all these common feelings, I’ve got some uncommon alternatives. And they WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Which is a lot more attractive than a grown man acting like a two-year-old.

More
When You Lose Your Church Family

When You Lose Your Church Family

Have you suffered the debilitating loss of your church family? This can be a traumatic experience that takes a lifetime to process. Find out why, and how you can think about this in a way that empowers you to love more and experience peace in spite of the pain.

More