The Difference Between a Normal Marriage and an Emotionally Abusive Marriage


In this episode, Rachel and Natalie compare and contrast their former marriages to emotionally abusive partners and their current relationships to emotionally healthy men.

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The Difference Between a Normal Marriage and an Emotionally Abusive Marriage [Transcript]

Download today’s transcript:Episode 20 Flying Free Podcast


  1. Avatar

    Your story is much like mine. I am still here with him. I do love him very much. It seems the only time he is kind and loving is when I am super sweet. He has never shown kindness to me unless I am laying the kindness on thick for him. He witjdraws from the children as well when I have confronted him or tried to talk to him about relationship things. He withdraws physically and won’t touch me unless I am super sweet wife. When I had my babies, I was so tired and uncomfortable at the end of my pregnancies that I wasn’t able to keep up. So, when the birthing day came, he would just sit on the couch in the delivery room and complain if I asked him to do anything. I feel like if he really loved me, he would have been there to help and would have shown care when I was in the worst pain of my life physically. I have told him how much the way he acted hurt me, but he just says that it’s in the past and I always try to attack him for the past and dig up old dirt. I don’t know if he is abusive, or if he feels disrespected by me and then shuts down. I was such a sweet wife in the beginning, but I found that he had a pornography addiction and any time I would try to talk to him about it he would get angry and raise his voice, and so I became wife cop many days. He has never shown love to me unless I have first shown great love and respect for him. I know they say, the woman is th neck, but I don’t know. Is it normal for a man to not be loving at all when he feels disrespected? He cab be wonderful, but only when I keep my mouth shut and do all the good things that a submissive help meet does. He doesn’t ask for much, but when my attitude is right toward him then he is loving. I don’t want a divorce. I am trying to just make things ok for the kids. It’s so tough. I don’t k ow if my guy is abusive or just can’t live unless he feels loved.

    • Avatar

      I can relate to everything you mentioned. It was as if I wrote this post. My heart hurt reading about how dismissive and discarding your husband related with you. When I read your comments I hear “abuse” but can seem to see it in my own marriage. My faith has made it all the more complicated. Jesus died on the Cross because He knew this life would be impossible to get through without His attending sacrifice yet I still subjected myself to shame whenever I think about standing up against the abuse. I am.losing myself and I hear the same thing from you.

  2. Avatar

    So good and true. I could relate to the ” never does a conflict get solved” even the smallest things became a huge issue. No matter how I said it, of course I was told I’m a nag. I wrecked my brain and my soul to prepare for a talk, sweet ,facts only, no accusations just how I feel technique, only to find out… Nothing works! Agony! Shame! Left hanging everytime! I’m doing things wrong! I need to pray more!
    Free now! Thank you!


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