Won’t Abusers Get Away With Everything if We Believe God’s Love is Unconditional? [Episode 213]
March 7, 2023
Are we unconditionally loved by God or not? How you answer that question will play a role in how you live your life.
Are we unconditionally loved by God or not? How you answer that question will play a role in how you live your life.
Learn about one of the fastest growing and most effective healing modalities in the therapy world right now—and how it can change YOUR life!
Internal Family Systems (IFS for short) may change the way you think about yourself, God, others, and your whole life (in a good way!)
Professional therapist Jenna Riemersma and I talk about IFS, how it ties into our faith, where we can find IFS in the Bible, and why IFS can be incredibly helpful as we learn how to break free and move forward from emotional and spiritual abuse. IFS changed the trajectory of Jenna’s life, and it can do the same for you.
If you are looking for healing, a deeper connection with God, a deeper connection with yourself, and a deeper love for yourself, this episode is for you. Let’s learn more about ourselves, others, and God as we explore the precious “family” that lives inside of us.
Have you ever wondered what Genesis 3:16 really means? Or perhaps your abuser is accusing you of forcing him into a transactional relationship simply because you’ve set down some boundaries he doesn’t like? How do we deal with these tough questions? In this episode, Natalie answers these questions by getting into the nitty gritty of Genesis 3:16, why we can trust ourselves, how not to get hooked in our abuser’s little game, and more. Let’s get out of the guilt and shame loop together.
Modern Christianity tends to champion Bible worship over Christ worship, and in this episode, we are joined by Keith Giles to discuss the implications of essentially replacing Christ with the Bible. Keith is a former pastor who “left the pulpit to follow Jesus.” He is the author of notable books such as Sola Mysterium, Jesus Unbound, and Jesus Undefeated, the podcast host of Heretic Happy Hour, Apostates Anonymous, and Second Cup with Keith, and is the Founder of the Square 1 Community. Having been self-taught, Keith has insight into what isn’t being taught in seminary school, and in our conversation, he explains the difference between education and indoctrination, as well as that between faith and certainty. He breaks down the Jesus-centric approach to scripture and what it truly means when it’s said that scripture is God-breathed. Tune in to hear Keith’s take on the fallibility of humans and the Christ-centric way we should approach the Bible.
Learning about emotional and spiritual abuse is dangerous.
You start to see patterns in your marriage, your family, your friendships, your church…and your faith. You start to understand why God often doesn’t feel safe. Why you feel like a constant disappointment. A regular failure. A busted, broken, rejection-worthy woman.
You were taught that God is love…
And that God wants (and demands) perfection. That he loves you IN SPITE of you. That he has to look at Jesus to accept you. That negative emotions are a sign you’re in sin. And a high self-esteem (not hating yourself) is a sign you’re in other sin. That you deserve punishment even when you’re giving 100% to please him.
There’s no winning…
…Until we explore the core of how we approach EVERY relationship in our lives: through attachment style.
“Unless you forgive and come back to me, you’re disobeying God and the Bible!”
If I were your abusive husband, I’d say the same thing. Why? Cause then I’d get what I want. Woohoo! Isn’t that what the Bible is all about?
Oh, begging your pardon. I was basing my opinion off how I see most church leaders and many legalistic Christians approach the Bible.
Which means that if you’re looking for advice on whether you should reconcile with your abusive husband — and what reconciliation really means — you’re going to get a whole charcuterie board of different answers. From biased people. Trying to interpret text that doesn’t give a full answer on… basically anything.
Consider this alternative: Ask a different question and provide your own answer.
Sound heretical? Then keep reading (and listening).
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
