Is Emotional Neglect Abusive? [Episode 384]
August 18, 2026
Let’s talk about emotional neglect. Can we really categorize this as “abuse?”
I say we can, and in today’s episode, I’m going to tell you why.
Let’s talk about emotional neglect. Can we really categorize this as “abuse?”
I say we can, and in today’s episode, I’m going to tell you why.
This is part two of our series on the subtle gaslighting tactics emotional abusers and narcissists use in Christian marriage. You’ll hear four more specific examples of what he says, why he says it, what it triggers in you, and the precise words to say back so the tactic stops working on you for good.
Today we’ll talk about one of the most disorienting experiences Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages face: gaslighting.
But we aren’t going to just define what gaslighting is. I’m going to break it down into all the tiny parts and give you some specific stories so you can see exactly what’s going on and WHY.
You’ll learn three specific tactics gaslighters use, why they use them, and what you can do to stay grounded in your own reality when someone is working hard to pull you out of it.
Tia Levings is the New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife and her newest book, I Belong to Me. She survived a Christian patriarchy cult, escaped a near murder-suicide, was excommunicated for telling her own story, and spent 15 years in intensive trauma therapy doing the work to put herself back together. Now she’s handing you the map to healing from religious trauma.
In this episode, Tia and I dig into the real mechanics of religious trauma recovery: why your body refuses to believe you’re safe even when your brain knows it, what “aftermath” actually means (it’s an agricultural word, and it will change how you see your own devastation), why grief work is not optional, and what agency has to do with the entire trajectory of your healing.
Let’s talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” It’s a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling.
If you’ve spent your life apologizing for taking up space, smiling when you wanted to scream, or feeling guilty about basic human needs like rest, preferences, and an opinion of your own, this episode is going to feel like someone finally turned the lights on.
In this episode I’m answering a pressing question Christian women in difficult marriages ask: how do you find a church that will actually support you instead of silence you?
Because not all churches are created equal, and the difference between a safe church and a harmful one can change everything for a woman trying to find her footing. I’ll break down exactly what to look for, what to ask, and what red flags to run from.