Learning Archives

Protect Yourself From Financial Abuse with Attorney Lisa Zeiderman [Episode 172]

May 24, 2022

The thought of contacting a lawyer made her sick. To live through her abusive marriage was hard enough. Would she have to bare all the details of her twisted reality to someone…and pay them for it? Where would she get the money for that, especially since her husband was hiding his paychecks?

Is your story anything like this?

I get the hesitation. The fear, the dread, and disgust. Bringing somebody else into your messy life is humiliating. But (and this is a really big but(t)), there are so many really important reasons to contact a lawyer when you’re in an abusive marriage. Because protecting yourself from financial abuse isn’t easy or simple, and it takes someone who knows what they’re doing.

Which leads us to questions. You have so many questions.

So I invited a lawyer who’s at the top of her game to answer the questions women just like you want (and need) answered.

Because this knowledge is worth its weight in gold. And your protection is worth even more than that.

We Are Like the God We Worship [Episode 171]

May 17, 2022

I have a confession.

I’m a recovering asshole.

Years ago, I had a friend. Her husband cheated on her. Then, he did it again. He kept cheating on her. He wasn’t sorry.

Do you know what I told her to do?

Stay with him. Pray and stay. Worse, I was proud to tell her this advice. Because I was God’s girl scout, and I knew best.

Now, I can easily imagine the grief and further pain my words and assumptions added to her heartbreak. I thought everything was black and white. A + B = C, every time. Life was a math problem, and I had the answer.

Boy, did I eat crow (and that’s just one example).

But in many ways, I’m no different than everybody else. And there IS an equation that applies to us all:

Our thoughts make our feelings. Our feelings make our beliefs. And our beliefs make us.

We become what we believe. We are like the god we worship.

What’s your god like? And what do you do when someone else’s god says you’re bad?

Does the Bible Say I Have to Give My Abusive Husband Sex on Demand? [Episode 170]

May 10, 2022

You’re not a toaster.

No matter what you’ve been taught by religious leaders, you’re not a thing to be used.

No matter what you’ve been told by your husband, you’re not an appliance to be owned.

No matter what you’ve come to believe about yourself, you’re not property — at the mercy of a spouse who wants toast on demand.

If you’ve found yourself tormented over how you’re treated in your marriage, especially when it comes to sex, and you waver between disgust and despairing “submission,” I have a new bottom line for you.

It’s four little letters, and it never justifies your mistreatment.

What Does the Bible Say About Emotional Abuse? 18 Verses About Domestic Violence

May 9, 2022

Some conservative Christians teach that God puts women in abusive marriages so they can better glorify Him through their suffering. What kind of a god requires the suffering of women and children in order to be glorified?

Seven Predictable Things Your Emotional Abuser Does When You Set Boundaries

7 Things Your Emotionally Abusive Husband Does When You Set Boundaries

May 8, 2022

There is a predictable pattern of behavior your emotional and spiritual abuser will follow when you set healthy boundaries. When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to hold steady in the middle of the kickback.

The Worst Things People Say to Justify, Minimize, and Excuse the Abuse You’ve Experienced [Episode 168]

April 26, 2022

I have two presents for you.

One is a regift. The other is brand-spanking, hot-off-the-waffle-press new.

First, I compiled some of the best (and by “best” I mean absolute trash and worst) things people say to Christian women in abusive marriages when they seek help or divorce.

Second, I’m giving you a comeback. A burn-it-to-the-ground, shred-it-to-cheddar-cheese, drop-the-mic, break-the-wrist-and-walk-away comeback for every single one.

I know how hard it is to stand before people who attack your character, deny your reality, determine your destiny, and demand your unquestioning allegiance…to your own destruction (in this case…as a married woman). The endless, useless, conflicting platitudes they give instead of real help and logical advice.

I also know how gutted you feel, how tongue-tied and mind-mushed you are when people spout off what sounds holy and bossy and right but is actually idiotic and damaging.

So unwrap your presents (press play) and revel in the ridiculous while I slaughter these silly arguments once and for all.

And you can regift these babies with my blessing.

Category: Learning