What’s it like to experience divorce as a kid?
You’ve heard from me. You’ve heard from experts. You’ve heard from survivors.
What about the young ones caught in the throes of things they don’t understand. The ones who only know that Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and life, will never be the same again.
Divorce through the eyes of a teen…my own daughter.
It took you years, decades maybe, to understand what you were going through.
It’s no wonder your kids don’t recognize emotional abuse for what it is.
Especially because they’re wired to trust their dad. They’re wired to need his love.
So they still call him good, loving even. They still think you and their dad should be together.
You know better.
And it’s agony.
What now?
As the year ends, the darkness grows. Minute by minute.
Just before Christmas is the longest night of the year.
The holidays are celebrations of love and generosity and joy.
But they’re also bleak and painful to many — like women going through separation and divorce.
So how do you cling to the hope of coming light in your blackest hours?
How do you live with the dark as you wait for the dawn?
Here’s my story and what I’ve learned.
If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love.
You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom.
You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage.
You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you.
But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction.
So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you.
If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you.
If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU.
Do you wonder why you feel so angry and defeated about the way your husband treats you?
It’s not cause you were a closet rage monster before you got married. It’s not cause you’re crazy or demanding or that you just love drama.
He’s been stomping in your flower beds.
And YOU’VE been told that you had to leave the garden gate open in order to be a good wife and a good Christian.
If you’ve been wondering “Is it me?” then let’s make sense of your confusing marriage in this two-part episode.
The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider.
They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all you never had. Especially in relationships.
Maybe they used to be a time of excitement and joy, but now you only feel dread and loneliness and grief.
If you find yourself wishing you could sleep until January comes around, or your eyes well up whenever you imagine how miserable these “special” days will be, gather round.
This episode is a warm blanket snuggled around your shoulders, a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, and a sweet gift-wrapped dose of hope from me…to you.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
