Emotional Abuse Archives

How Can I Be a Good Mom in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage?

If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that in case of emergency, the flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help your kids put on theirs. Healing is the same way. We can’t help our kids heal until we heal ourselves. If we stay stuck, our kids are going to suffer right along with us.

You get the opportunity to be your kids’ biggest hero, support, and safe space. But you have to be YOUR biggest hero, support, and safe space first. Let’s learn how—together.

Answers to Six Emotional Abuse Survivor Questions

Today’s episode is taken from a live Q&A I did a couple of months ago within the Flying Free program. In this episode, I cover the following issues:

– I keep feeling like his sadness, loss, and grief over losing me are all my fault.
– All of a sudden, my husband has a lawyer and a few other suspicious things going on. I know I need a lawyer now too, but I don’t have any money and I don’t have any time, and I’m stuck.
– I’m having a hard time speaking my own opinions without stumbling over my words.
– I feel selfish for wanting a divorce, and I feel resentful that it’s dragging out.
– I’m in an abusive marriage and I’m struggling with how not to feel hurt or react to the ways that he is harming me.
– I’ve spent the last three years dragging my feet about filing for divorce. How do I move forward?

Survivor Story: Stacie

What would you do if you found out that your husband of twenty-two years was arrested and put in jail for domestic violence during the time you were first dating him… and you didn’t know about it until now?

Stacie’s story is one of betrayal, loss, disappointment, and then a rising from the ashes. After twenty-two years, she finally had the bravery to say “no” to abuse and say “yes” to loving the woman with her name. Follow along as she outlines the red flags that she saw when they were first dating, the tumultuous journey of their marriage as her husband mistreated and abused the woman he promised to love and care for, and the climax — her escape from it all.

The Shoe Always Drops

Here’s what I tell myself when I get anxious, can’t enjoy the moment, and I think I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop…

I Don’t Consider Myself to be a Victim, so How Do I Accept the Reality of my Abusive Relationship?

Many emotional abuse victims have been accused of having a victim mentality—as if the abuse isn’t real. Some victims don’t like to be labeled a “victim.” It sounds weak and powerless. Recently, one of my listeners asked this question: “How do we accept the reality of abuse without living as a victim?”

Untwisting Scriptures About Brokenness and Suffering: Interview with Rebecca Davis

Join us for a conversation with our special guest, Rebecca Davis, author of the “Untwisting Scriptures” series. Her latest book on brokenness and suffering is the topic of today’s conversation, and we answer questions like “Do you have to be broken to be a good Christian?” “Does God break us down like He breaks down the wicked?” “Is God like a gumball machine – you have to put something in to get something out?” Join us for today’s conversation.

How to Tell Your Kids You’re Getting Divorced

“How in the world am I going to tell my kids that we’re getting divorced?” Kids + divorce = a tricky topic, but I want to help calm your fears. I want to show you some questions you can ask yourself as you contemplate this big conversation with your children, and let’s give you some practical ideas as you introduce this new change in all of your lives.

Survivor Story: Shelly

Is it me? Shelly thought it WAS her for so many years. “I must be the problem in my confusing marriage.” Today, our episode chronicles the story of her marriage to her second husband, a covert emotionally abusive man who even went so far as to *almost* convince her that she had Borderline Personality Disorder. Listen in as Shelly shares how she went from stuck to flying free.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: Religion and Trauma Responses

Today I want to explore the four common responses people have when they have experienced or are experiencing something that is threatening or traumatic. In particular, I want to focus on the fawning response and how that relates to our view of and our relationship with God. Let’s break down our responses of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze, and then destroy the false, abusive version of the God that we may have in our minds.

Exploring Emotional Abuse