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Category: Emotional Abuse

Reframing Nasty Things People Say to Victims

Reframing Nasty Things People Say to Victims [Episode 270]

“Why do you keep bringing up the past?”

“You can’t have boundaries with me. You’re my wife.”

“You’re too sensitive.”

“I said I was sorry. You need to accept that. Let’s choose to have a good day now.”

“You think you’re so perfect.”

Do these phrases sound familiar? They certainly sound familiar to me. I want to show you some ways you can combat these words your abuser throws at you, even if you’re just combating them in your own mind. You don’t even have to say anything out loud (because we all know what happens when we try to reason with an abuser/fool). You can just say these phrases I’m going to teach you in your head, and that will be enough to give you the empowerment and strength you need!

But first, let’s check out a negative review I recently received *gasp* and look to Matthew 23 to help us figure out if this reviewer is on the right track…or not.

Do Marriage Intensives Help to Heal Abusive Marriages?

Do Marriage Intensives Help to Heal Abusive Marriages? [Episode 269]

Gretchen Baskerville joins me in today’s episode to talk about a survey she recently conducted on peoples’ personal experiences with marriage intensives. In her survey of 330 people, what she found was shocking, fascinating, and not at all what she expected (mostly).

Listen to today’s episode to find out the twelve biggest surprises in this survey and what they mean when it comes to the effectiveness of expensive marriage intensives. Each surprise gets more and more fascinating as the episode unravels – you won’t want to miss this!

Does an Abuser Know They Are Abusive?

Does an Abuser Know They Are Abusive? [Episode 268]

In today’s episode, I answer more listener questions from women just like you who are trying to figure out what is happening inside of their painful and confusing marriage. If you want to leave a question for me to answer on the Flying Free Podcast, I would love to hear from you! Here are the questions being addressed today:

– Is my husband emotionally abusive or is it possible that he’s just emotionally weak and unavailable due to his own past and trauma that he hasn’t dealt with yet?

– Does my husband abuse me on purpose? Does he know what he’s doing?

– How do I know it’s time to leave my abusive husband?

– Has my abusive husband actually changed, or is he a fraud?

Excommunication Series: Janet's Story

Excommunication Series: Janet’s Story [Episode 267]

Have you ever been told you are incorrigible? Or how about contumacious, which means stubbornly and willfully disobedient to authority? Janet’s church promised to help and protect her, but when she decided to set a boundary to protect herself by divorcing her abuser, they turned on her with this vicious name-calling.

Sort of like her abuser, come to think of it.

In this final episode of our excommunication series, Janet outlines her story of waking up to abuse, seeking help from her church, and receiving a proverbial beating in return. Let’s unmask these particular wolves in Janet’s story so that we can learn how to unmask others in our own lives and in the lives of the people we care about.

Excommunication Series: Valerie's Story

Excommunication Series: Valerie’s Story [Episode 266]

In part two of our excommunication series, I interview Valerie, a former member of a Reformed Baptist church that excommunicated her for divorcing her unfaithful and emotionally abusive husband.

After years of receiving “help” from her church as she endured betrayal after betrayal from her husband, she said enough was enough. But even as she divorced her husband and then tried to leave the church peacefully, they wouldn’t allow it. They had to have the last word. Listen to Valerie’s story today.

Excommunication Series: Marieda's Story

Excommunication Series: Marieda’s Story [Episode 265]

“Your high-handed sin against God is a dangerous domain, especially for those that claim Christ and have identified with the church.” Mareida read these words in shock after her “sin” of running away from her abuser had reached the ears of her church.

Marieda has a story to tell, and you’ll want to listen in. It’s a story of freedom from emotional abuse and then being punished for it by the church that was supposed to protect her. It’s a story of deep betrayal but also rising from the ashes.

This is the first in a series of three episodes about excommunication.

Meet Marieda. Here is her excommunication story.